Kaleidoscope of dreams

Kaleidoscope of Dreams 

Ten years ago I didn't know I had it in me to receive an "I hate you!" with a smile and follow it with an introspection of how I might have disappointed him/her. I didn't know that somebody would be calling me too old to be pretty in pink and I would be enjoying the attention. But things have changed, I have changed. After becoming a mother, it's like I opened a door into this new dimension in me, a whole new fun and fabulous side of me.... 

Giving birth, I realised how much endurance I had. But the story doesn't get to a 'happily ever after' just yet. Just how many ways a woman's body and mind change... I can't even begin to explain. Struggling with a sinking body image is the first challenge. Battling a sense of insecurity would be the close second and that too without realising it's because of your receding harmony levels. And now the change in the dictionary of every day words begins – bag is diaper bag, not your matching handbag, appointment is not at the spa but with the paediatrician. Not funny, I tell you. Well, I am back to carrying a matching handbag and hitting the spa but some things just kept getting better and better over time. 

Dining out with a baby is hilarious; you would head to the restaurant and eat alone in a hurry because the husband is still hungry and bouncing a cranky baby or chasing a naughty one all over the place. Watching a movie with a toddler in tow is like not doing homework and standing in the school corridor peeping into your class. Taking a short nap and to be woken up and told "I am going to su-su" brings out the best of your silent reactions. Attending weddings and parties, you start with looking pretty in your mirror and get to the venue in a ruffled outfit smelling a little of milk and a little of ahem...something else. But that's when you realise it doesn't matter if you don't look beautiful outside, you are carrying the most precious little thing and feeling your best beautiful inside. Once the school going starts you come to see the formula racer in you shuttling between drop offs, pick up, classes and play dates. That's when you will see you feel a little lost when you are alone. It's a nagging feeling like when you feel may be you lost your mobile or purse or you left a door open while heading out. 

"I want to be a dance teacher when I grow up!" declares one cheery little pumpkin and only when you see the pretty dance teacher do you know why. "I shall grow up and become a crocodile hunter", announces the boy and you give an awkward smile at the surprised family. But only then do you realise how important it is to nurture this invaluable dream and let it grow.  

When you are bombarded with a teary demand of "I want us to shift to grandpa's house" or "I want to live with all my cousins", you know you would like to be able to say it too if you could.  

They say they want to grow up fast because it's cool to be a grown up and you pray to God to give them a longer, happier childhood full of dreams and wishes. I am growing up too as a mother and learning to look at life with an innocence and hope that makes everything look so beautiful. It’s like looking at life through a kaleidoscope...