Medicated

In my mind I'm a writer, my hand's a lighter,
Soul's the fluid, plop the cap and spark it right up,
Like a phoenix from the ash I'll rise up,
Burning through the pages, I'm an arsonist with arthritis,
Can't breathe but still keep setting everything on fire,
Pop a pill, fall to death like I was Charles Pfizer.
Medicated heavily had no idea what else to buy,
Adderall in my veins, in my head I can feel my eyes,
And it was always 'bout you and not the money or the fame,
Even if I was born into it like Frances Bean Cobain.
And the pain in your eyes got me feeling so light headed,
Hot headed, without your love I'm just a pot head,
Don't know where my life's headed, paying for things,
It's starting to feel like my life's out of credit,
Can't take it, it's almost too much man I've had it,
High headed with your eyes and your face embedded,
In my mind and I'm just wishing that you're present,
But it's unpleasant, that it had to end,
Would've never thought that it ever could happen,
And there was no way we could've sidestepped it,
Had to watch it go down like the Titanic,
Only there was no iceberg it was rock bottom,
Stunned, it was stone cold, hearts broken,
Tears falling like the red leaves in Autumn,
Spitting blood every time I speak, need more cotton,
Ten new kinds of pain but I cannot stop walking,
I can keep going and I'd never be done talking,
About our Brief History of Time like S. Hawking,
And I promise it'll be like it was, we'll be cake walking.
Draw a line for anyone whose still hate talking,
Pistol whip their brains make it spill,
If I ever see them jaywalking, beat them up,
Then beat the case like it never had happened.
An atheist but if you're there looking down God, watching,
Give me a sign so I can stop with the self abusing,
Not end up with a monkey while a guy is asphyxiating,
Hanging dead from a belt while he was masturbating.
But her eyes the last thing I see, a rush of oxytocin,
Good wine, good food, dopamine and serotonin washing.