Three days, just three days since we took the seven rounds around the auspicious fire. Not a love marriage, it was an alliance set up by our parents. I remember his mischievous wink when I sat next to him in front of the fire, an intrigued part of me wanted to know him, to unearth the secret stories trapped in his mind. Seventy two hours and thirty minutes from that day, I sit here, at the edge of my bed thinking about him. I have now started observing him carefully, his cute intricate expressions are driving me crazy. The way he looks at me and flashes that half smile, my knees can't help but fumble and my heart? It beats so hard that I fear that he hears my heart's thumping. Does he really know? Know how I feel? Maybe, maybe not-the my head is muddled in confusion.
A year later........
I peep outside bearing the terrible pain, I find him strolling restlessly. He is biting his fingers, the lines of worry show up, deep and intact. He looks at the babies, they are girls. He grabs both of them with utmost love and care and plants a kiss on my forehead. I wonder what is he thinking? He is so mysterious. He kisses both the babies and walks out to meet our family. Our babies are now a year old. He often plays with them, though I see jealousy in his eyes for them. I question him regarding this, he smiles and answers me that he doesn't like his share of love being showered on others. I look at him intently, he meets my gaze and laughs out loud. Was this a joke? Or is he serious? Does he love me? I fail to understand him, yet again.
Fifteen years roll by.....
It's our 15th anniversary today. He stands by my side and takes a glance at other's wives. Pangs of jealousy make me feel suffocated and nauseous. But moments later, he slips his hand into mine and clutches it tight. I lift up my lids and meet his gaze. He winks at me, again. Even after fifteen years, he has the same charm, the charm that has the power to make me feel weak at my knees. He loves me? I question myself and try to find the answer in his eyes. If only I knew how to read minds, this man wouldn't have been so mysterious.
I'm amazed when I find him covering up his grief so impeccably. This morning, the news of his best friend's death hit him hard, still there he is , standing as smart and charming as ever addressing the greybeards at the conference. No sign of pain, no trail of tears. He returns back home and smiles at me, a fake one though, I deduce. I rush to him and engulf him in my embrace. He cries, he weeps like a baby and tightens his grip. I wonder how can he be so strong yet so delicate?
Close to half a century.......
He is reading his favourite novel and peeking through it. I smile at him, he winks. It still feels the same. Forty five years of marriage and I'm still pondering over the same question- does he love me? His warm touch, drags me back to the present from the reverie.
''I Love you!'' He whispers. I close my eyes and inhale his freshness. His arms wrap around my waist. I feel satisfied and happy. I finally have my world with me. But the urge to know more about him, to know his mind still persists.
Who says women are the most complicated creatures. Contradictory to this fact, I find men to be the most complicated creatures and nothing is sexier than this!
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