The Marriage Mantra

“Fair, slim, convent-educated”, were not something that she would have to put up in the matrimonial section of dailies, only to be encircled by prospective groom families. Not because Alina was not all of these. In fact Alina, daughter of Lina and Ashok Ganguly, had been blessed with generous doses of the first two parameters and as for the third, well her enrolment into Model English Convent School, just two yards away from their home, ensured that Alina could ‘speak, sing, dance, stitch and even cook in English’. That’s how Alina’s mother, Lina Ganguly described her daughter!

And the reason she was confident of bypassing the ‘matrimonial section’ on the journey to her daughter’s marriage is because of a big feather in her cap. Well and that huge feather was something that none of Alina’s distant relatives and close friends were not unaware of. It was something that Lina made sure every family in her kith and kin devoted an evening discussing, while Lina mentioned the incident to them in her trademark condescending demeanor without failing to add the signature ‘I don’t like to brag about it, but. . .’ So that big feather was added to the Ganguly family whilst they were participating in the big fat wedding of the son of a famous lawyer in the neighbourhood, whose wallet was as fat as the wedding was made out to be replete with five day festivities including sangeet nite, cocktail nite, marriage day and night, welcoming the bride night and the reception night. And according to Lina’s understanding, such occasions are a perfect hunting ground for all prospective daughters-in-law and sons-in-law.

But she never expected her daughter, then studying only in class VIII would be considered in the fray of prospective daughters-in-law. Contrary to her notion, she was in for a pleasant surprise when the wife of another noted lawyer showered generous praises for her daughter Alina. “I do not like to brag about it, but you must have heard of Mr Shantanu Bannerjee, the famous lawyer who deals with all famous cases in the High Court. He has also been interviewed on TV. You must have seen him. Well, he was interested in getting his son married to my daughter Alina when she was only in class VIII,” was Lina’s chant whenever she wanted to describe about that big feather, that she assumed her family collectively wore. This because she was very confident that Alina had got her goddess like features from her and the smooth ivory pale complexion from her father and their joint decision to enroll Alina in Model English Convent School had reaped them the result of quite a model of a daughter both looks and attribute wise. “Her English style of dancing mesmerized the audience on the Sangeet night and many of the ladies there were telling me that she was looking like a heroine that night. And that was when Mrs Shantanu Bannerjee came up to me and asked about Alina,” Lina would say. In actuality Mrs Shantanu Bannerjee, on being introduced to Lina, had only as a matter of fact way enquired about her daughter Alina just to make conversation. Moreover it was right after Alina’s performance, so courtesy demanded one to praise a little girl’s performance and that was exactly what Mrs Shantanu Bannerjee, whose husband makes appearances on TV often and whose son (Lina had heard) was of marriageable age, was doing. But Lina, whose mind was conditioned to assuming such social gatherings as hunting grounds for future brides and grooms, heard what she wanted to hear and as a result many amongst her kith and kin had to hear the story even if they did not want to hear. Some who were interested in hearing the description of the feather, asked Lina what did she think about the alliance and then came Lina’s moment of pride as she haughtily announced, “Of course I did not show interest. I cannot commit for my 14-year-old daughter.” And this discussion always gave her the right opportunity to market her daughter’s skills further. Alina in reality was a beautiful girl, true to the meaning of her name, with sharp features and long eye lashes that defined her expressive eyes. She was bestowed with all the positives that one can desire when it comes to looks and as for acquired skills, well she could sing “We shall overcome someday”, which made Lina brag about Alina’s abilities to sing in English. She had once made pasta with the new colourful packets of ITC Sunfeast pasta that were seen adorning the racks of Bhola da’s neighbourhood shop and that made Lina go gaga about her daughter’s English cooking abilities. And the cross-stitch taught in her craft class made Lina assume that her daughter Alina was perfect in mastering this European style of stitching, hence it is no exaggeration to reiterate to relatives that Alina could even stitch in English!

Phew! This was a talented mass modeled to perfection in the Model English Convent School waiting in cue to be picked up by the perfect suitor. While Lina continued with her rant about the famed feather in her family’s cap, Alina finished school and stepped into College. And Lina continued to flaunt her daughter with a vengeance. The poor girl was made to parade all social gatherings, marriage, baby showers, naming ceremonies, annaprashan (introduction of solids to babies) ceremonies, marriage anniversaries, birthdays and even condolence ceremonies wearing the perfect dress for all of these occasions. “This is where you get spotted, so you should attend all of these and behave in an orderly way. You never know who is watching you when,” was the mother’s piece of advice to not just her daughter, but to all girls her age. And true to her General Knowledge (G.K), Alina struck gold (according to her mother) as she got spotted from a window by her future mother-in-law. Despite having her final examinations, Lina had compelled her daughter to attend the last spinster lunch ceremony of one of her own second cousin’s daughter. So Alina, compelled by her mother, just made a special appearance at the get together and after lunch was heading home accompanied by her mother when the spot-at-first-sight happened.

The future mother-in-law had finished her lazy Sunday lunch and was sitting near her window enjoying the warm winter sun when she spotted this beautiful girl in a golden yellow and red salwar kameez with an ornate dupatta draped on her slender shoulders. She was walking alongside a woman who looked a little older than her sister and lo and behold the future mother-in-law was sure that Lina was a familiar face. Oh yes, Lina was her sister’s brother-in-law’s second cousin’s own sister-in-law. Yes she had recognized Lina and recalled the relationship with her and that too within a minute before Lina could walk out of sight with Alina in hand. So Tara, the future mother-in-law called out Lina’s name. She was walking hurriedly with her daughter when on hearing her name she stopped and looked back, couldn’t see anyone and then Tara called out again and peered through the window. This time Lina and Alina spotted the caller and that was when Tara waved out to them. She asked them to wait as she hurriedly took the stairs down to open the main door of her house. They stood at the door and exchanged pleasantries as Lina had to politely refuse the offer of tea because of Alina’s impending exams. While the two distantly related women spoke at the door, Tara kept looking at Alina every once in a while and once even asked if Alina helped her mother in the kitchen. And on hearing this question, Lina’s joy knew no bounds for she knew the underlying meaning of the question. By then Tara had already told her that her son was working in the IT Sector and was currently based in London. Lina could hardly contain her joy as she answered Tara and briefed her about Alina’s English ways. To both the women, who did not overtly speak of marriage, it seemed like a marriage made in heaven. The groom based in London, the bride with her English ways and perfect Indian looks and upbringing and the additional advantage of being ‘in the family’ seemed like the ideal match.

So with the spot at first sight happening Lina was almost sure that this would materialize into marriage. And yes it did. Tara’s son, a 32-year-old virgin was floored with Alina’s goddess like looks. He did not mind the decade old generation gap between them, as Tara told him the younger the wife the more ‘in-control’ she will be and what followed was a big fat wedding, replete with five day grand festivities. Lina busy amidst all the rituals and festivities did not forget to remind Alina’s younger cousins how they should be conducting themselves in this occasion, as this was the hunting ground and could be the foundation stone to their bright matrimonial prospects. Though the cousins laughed at Lina’s wisdom, their parents now did not. They thought Lina had struck gold for her daughter. A well-settled IT guy and settled that too in London was no less than Onida- neighbour’s envy, owner’s pride! And post Alina’s marriage, Lina’s status was immediately catapulted to that of an SME (Subject Matter Expert) in liaising matrimonial aspects.

Neighbour’s daughter, family doctor’s wayward son, sister-in law’s co-sister’s daughter, friend’s neighnour’s son were all registered in Lina’s database, in her head. Whenever people came to her, which was always in all social gatherings, asking for alliances (because they thought she had the best deals in hand) she tried a mental match the column to see if any of the prospects she had in mind would fit the profile of the other.  If they would she would suggest, otherwise she would just give them her piece of advice on how the spotting happened and build the hopes that the spot-at-first-sight could happen anytime, anywhere in the social gatherings. So attending social gatherings at a marriageable age was the mantra, according to her.

Whenever anyone asked her about Alina and how her family of a hard-working, well-earning husband, a son and a daughter in London was doing, Lina knew what question this precedes. She had started enjoying her SME status and was at the hilt of stardom, when she gradually noticed a dwindling of prospects. Alina and her family was still well settled in London and Lina in her daily conversation with her daughter mentioned how people started rejecting her proposals of suitors that she offered from her data base after a much detailed mental session of permutation and combination of both parties. Alina advised her to stay away from trying to tie the knots, but she was bound by nature. And she was not willing to let go off her SME status so easily. While many of her nieces and nephews went walked the love marriage path depriving her the privilege of finding the right match, that she was always so passionate about finding, there were some who opted for arranged marriages and that too without her help! This sounded blasphemous to Lina and she wanted to figure out how this was happening. That was when her young college-going nephew brought her face to face to the fact that it was the internet generation, and that it was a decade to Alina’s marriage, and that the likes of marriage.com, grandmarriage.com, indiamatrimony.com were offering customised services at the click of a mouse where people could be in the marriage market secretly, without letting kith and kin know about their availability or rejection at the market. All are directly invited at the wedding when the deal is struck. So that everyone can just come and enjoy the food and festivities at the wedding without being under the pressure of performance at the hunting ground, as Lina loved to call it!