The New Lipstick

This story has not been edited or moderated by the Readomania team.

Garima was a worried mother. 

 Her elder offspring who was pursuing a bachelor in arts final year had started showing strange behaviour for the past few months.

Tarun had become secretive. He had started spending a lot of time in his room. When she tried talking to him about his changed behaviour, he smiled awkwardly and stayed quiet avoiding eye contact with her. 

She had tried talking to Manan too about this. Being busy as always, he brushed her uneasiness aside. 

 “Garima you smell a fish even in a desert. Tarun is preparing for civil services. He is bound to keep to himself, what with a load of studies and all.” He patted her face lovingly as she handed him his medicine. 

Manan took a lot of pride in both of his children. Tarun and Tanmaya had got the best schooling and now Tarun was in the best college of Delhi university admission facilitated solely by his high score in class twelve and his strong interest in co-curricular and cultural activities. And Tanmaya, two years his junior, had taken admission in SPA this year itself. She had taken to architecture as naturally as the little chicks learn to fly. 

With the career trajectory of both his children showing an upward curve, it was natural for Manan to hold high aspirations from both Tarun and Tanmaya; hoping that his children would be as high achievers as he himself has been all through his life. 

“I’m going to be away for a week. Presentations at Singapore and then Myanmar. Our delegation to meet some pretty important people there.”

“When do you have to fly?”Garima asked as always. 

Even after twenty-five years of marriage and Manan having boarded uncountable flights, Garima still got queasy at the thought of him taking an airplane to any place. And this was always her first question whenever Manan informed her about his tour whether in India or abroad. 

 “Tomorrow evening. “

Garima switched off her bedside lamp and closed her eyes. She was still not convinced about all being normal with Tarun. She herself had noticed Tarun sneaking to her cosmetics cabinet and looking at her lipsticks and rouge and mascara. Both he and Tanmaya were many a time into a deep conversation in his room and would go silent when she entered. 

“Tanmaya what is Bhai up to? Have you also noticed anything strange about him?”, she asked Tanmaya looking at her lovely face searching for something she dreaded. 

Tanmaya was busy rolling and stuffing her plan-sheets and blueprints in the“tube” as she called the cylindrical box with the sling. 

“ Mom please! Just let him be. “ Tanmaya slurped her cold milk and cornflakes hurriedly, her breakfast which she steadfastly adhered to all seasons of the year. Anything fried was a big no-no. 

“What do you mean just let him be Tanu? These days he seems so distracted. He has apparently stopped taking interest in his studies.”

“Mama... please don’t push him into any conversation as of now. He will himself talk and disclose whatever is in his head.”

“Tanu are you hiding something from me?”

“Mom, look. I am no one to hide or disclose the affairs of another individual. Bhai needs to come out and talk to you both himself.” Tanmaya collected her stuff and rushed out before Garima could read anything from her face. 

“Mom I might get late in college today. Bye.”

Garima entered Tarun’s room hesitantly. As parents, both she and Manan had valued and honoured the privacy of their wards. More so the trust had been reciprocated abundantly. 

Her eyes were searching for some telltale signs of Tarun hiding something from them; some secret...something that he was ashamed of. 

She opened the large book cabinet that was Tarun’s pride. He had filled it with books of his choice from all over the world-all worthy and valuable, some even signed by the author. Every time they took a trip, Tarun would mostly buy books.

Another passion of his was collecting cars. The match-box models of various cars, true to scale were occupying one of the shelves in this cabinet. Manan still indulged his son’s passion for car-toys on his overseas trips. 

She moved on to the wardrobe almirah next, being careful not to disturb his thing to the point of being discovered. She turned his shirts, tees, and jeans. And all of a sudden she realised that there was an unusual number of pink t-shirts in Tarun’s wardrobe. She recalled that Manan had even pointed this out to Tarun sometime  in the past, and he had brushed it aside saying,” Papa I like pink.”

She moved her arm deeper towards the back of the cupboard, bracing herself to accept whatever she discovered. 

Something soft came into her hand. It was a sheer dress, all glittery and shimmering. Garima felt the air leave her lungs. Her first thought was how will she tell Manan? How would Manan react?

Then her dread slowly turned to anger. She felt that Tarun had betrayed his family, his parents. Her eyes clouded with rage and disgust. 

She carefully placed the dress back and left the room- both she and the room appearing the same as before she had entered. 

Garima spent the week restlessly, waiting for Manan to return. She neither confronted Tarun nor tried to elicit anything from Tanmaya although she could sense their secretive eye contact. 

“Mom you are looking very worried these days. What’s the matter?” Tarun asked in his usual quiet manner when all three of them were having dinner. 

“Nothing is the matter. I’m missing papa.” Garima did not look into his eyes. 

“ He is going to be back in a few more hours mama. You and your unreasonable fear of flights !” Tanmaya rolled her eyes. 

“Mom, papa will be home by four in the morning. His flight lands a quarter past midnight. Would you be able to sleep or do you want me to be with you?” Tarun had always been this perceptive. His sensitive nature had perhaps come from her. 

“No Tarun. I’ll manage to sleep for a couple of hours.” Garima said decisively as she collected the bowls. 

It was around two in the night when she woke up not knowing what disrupted her sleep. She lay in her bed staring at the dark ceiling...a deep melancholy still enveloped her spirit. Garima wrapped herself in her shawl and decided to check on her kids. 

She was often made fun of for this by Manan. He would say,” Garima the kids are big now. They are in their rooms not in their nursery that you need to check in the night.”

Garima saw that the light in Tarun’s room was on. She walked with trepidation, expecting the expected. What she expected, she could not spell but knew in her heart. 

As she neared, she heard some soft words. She could see two silhouettes, their faces close to each other on the wall opposite. 

“Bhai I’m sure mama and papa would accept this. At least try telling them once.”

 Tanmaya had been imploring Tarun for a month... since the day he had disclosed in her; with a lot of hesitation.  He had debated in his head for a long time whether to speak to anyone about his problem or try to forget his own desires and carry on. But he needed someone to understand him... and he had always shared a deep bond with his sister. 

“I doubt it Tanu. Papa will be furious and mom would be broken.” He said dejectedly toying with the lipstick in his hand. He looked around at the other things lying on the bed... mascara, eyeliner, blushers, and many makeup brushes and tools. 

“It’ll take time for them to accept Bhai. But I’m sure they would come around once they overcome their psyche of ‘what will the society and the relatives say?’ “

“Tanu all I know is now I cannot take anymore. I love all of this”,  he waved his arm over the cosmetics,” and I’m happiest when I have these around me.“

“ I know Bhai.” is all Tanu could say.

“Okay. No more talking as of now. Let me apply this shade of lipstick.” Tarun uncapped the lipstick with a somewhat practiced flair. 

His mother walked into the room just as he was about to apply her new lipstick. She was startled. He was startled. 

“What are you doing with my new lipstick? It’s new...I haven’t used it so far. Couldn’t you have waited?”

He smiled and handed it back to her. 

“I forgot to tell you...I am playing Draupadi in our college production...rehearsals start this evening.” Tanmaya spoke haltingly. 

“And Bhai was trying some looks for the character.”

Garima looked from her daughter to her son and back. She had not meant to speak about her new lipstick. That was her impulsive reaction ... unthinking and mindless. 

Now as she had taken in more of the surroundings, she sat down heavily on the bed. She sensed she was about to start weeping in helplessness, a tear had already rolled out of her eye. Her children could see her distress and they appeared in shock. 

Tarun had not wanted this thing to get unfolded in such an abrupt manner. 

He looked into his mother’s worked up eyes... took her hands into his and drew in a deep breath. 

“Mom. There’s something I had been meaning to tell you and papa for many months.”

Garima coaxed herself to listen carefully. She willed herself not to get hysterical. She must go through this. She must go through the pain of hearing that her son was ....well she was still negating the possibility.  

“Mom I don’t want to appear for the civil services  exam.” Tarun had his eyes cast low. His head was bent. He knew what he was about to speak would shatter his mother. 

“All I want to do is makeup and makeovers. I love the play of cosmetics on a bare face and am happiest when I unleash their power of transformation. I enjoy the feel of hair in my hands when I’m trimming them.” Tarun was overwhelmed with emotion that he had kept bottled up for so long. 

Tanmaya pitched in when Tarun went quiet,” Mom, Bhai was introduced to this field by the world-famous makeup artist Jerome Shaun when we went to Paris last year. Do you remember you took us along with you to his studio?”

Garima recalled how gorgeous her hair extensions had looked and how much praise she had garnered from her friends on returning. 

Tarun looked at her. His eyes flooded with a lot of questions. “Mom, can I pursue my passion for being a makeup artist? I know it’s not what you and papa had planned for me.”

All Garima could do was smile through her tears. She felt the strain draining out of her being. 

“I know papa will be happy with whatever you do passionately.”

“Manu, may I ask you something?” Garima had been dying to ask Manan this question. 

“How would you have felt had our son been gay?”

“Garima,I will not deny that my first reaction would have been of denial.” Manan looked at her reasonably and answered in his usual thoughtful manner. “But then I would have accepted it....”, he paused to search for the right words to express himself, “because Tarun has given me the biggest happiness. I do not remember ever being happier in my life than the day he was born. So ...why should I deny him his freedom to spend his life with whosoever he wants to. It’s that simple. Our children are not our property... they are individuals.”

Manan turned to sleep. “And I hope you too think the same way.”

Garima smiled ...her inner peace radiating from her being.