The Sky Below

The sun had begun peeping through the horizon. The sky was crystal clarion. A couple of morning birds were sitting at one of the corners. With exact two pieces of cloth on her body, she was almost naked. Her bare back rested upon the brown rocks. The first rays of the sun outlined her breasts. The lake lay far below her. The water seemed immovable. Water too, needs to rest. She felt a gust of wind behind her, in the hollow of her spine. The wind ruffled her hair frantically. She inhaled the cold air in one breath, the elongated, peaceful one. She felt weak at her ribs. The petrichor hit into her nostrils. At four-thirty in the morning almost no one was to be seen except some fishermen. Goa sleeps at this hour. This was the time she could come out and breathe in the fresh air. She was on the beach to defeat ennui. She stared at the water playing at the shore. She parted from the rocks and went near the shore. No, it wasn’t at rest, as she had thought earlier. It was very much in motion, she contemplated. It stared back at her. Was it too feeling same as she? The waves came forward, hit the rocks lying near them and got lost into nothing. The movement was eternal. The foams disappeared, only to form newer ones. She waited for the water to stop but it didn’t. Not even for a microsecond. She wrapped the yellow cloth lying nearby around her waist. Not everything you wait for happens. Neither the moving water, nor the lost husband. No sooner did she see two people walking towards her than she picked her sunglasses and walked towards the hotel with impetuous steps. Her heart pounded as she thought of the consequences of this encounter! Vijay would kill her!

“Mrs. Arisha! Mrs. Arisha!” She heard them calling out aloud.

“What you’ve to say about-” She ran into the hotel ignoring their questions. By the time they would reveal their identities to the management, she would lock herself up in the room. Her heart went to its normal speed. She was saved! She heard knocking at her door. She called the management up, “I don’t want to meet anyone!”
The hullabaloo soon was quiet. “Till when you are going to keep mum, Mrs. Arisha?” were the last words she heard before they fell silent to her ears. Ah, she was exhausted. She lied down on the bed and closed her eyes. She wished to escape to a peaceful place and lie down and breathe. Not simple inhale and exhale but breathe.  Wasn’t inhaling and exhaling she be doing all this while? Breathing is rather a complex process. She got herself into her white hot pant and an olive green off-shoulder top. Her hollow eyes longed for stillness and peace. Only if world was a wish-granting factory! Yeah, she had been into John Green a lot these days. With Vijay busy, she actually had nothing to do. Reading was one thing she always adored. “The Book Geek” was her sobriquet during school days! Before Vijay came into her life, she can’t deny but accept that she was one. She had topped her district in the matriculation examination. How happy her dad was! How happy she was! No, the reason of her happiness wasn’t the success. Success and failure are part and parcel of life. She strongly believed that one’s happiness should not depend upon them. She was perpetually happy. “Happiness knows no reason, sadness does”, she would say to everyone who asked her the reason for her happiness.

Arisha examined herself in the mirror. It’s been so long that she had last smiled! She loved smiling, not that simple smile but the toothy one. She looked into her eyes. Tears welled up in her eyes instantly. Ignoring those tears, she displayed her teeth. Like she did in her adolescence. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She couldn’t even look into her eyes and smile. She felt pathetic! What she has grown up to be? Is that what she wished to be? Scores of questions webbed her mind as she wiped her tears off her cheek and looked into the mirror again. Standing at five feet six inches, she looked really beautiful. Seven years ago, the concept of beauty was alien to her. She was an average, if not ugly girl with huge, nerdy spectacles on her nose. With an aim to become a cardiologist, she had moved to Delhi from Assam, where she had met Vijay. He was good six feet tall, gorgeous college boy who was a year senior to her. He was the college heartthrob with smoky eyes, awesome jaw line and ‘do-you-not-want-to-mess-with me’ attitude. She met him first in the college’s Annual Function. She was anchoring the whole programme. He was in the group dance. Arisha often wondered what was about him that all girls were so smitten with him! She never found anything extraordinary in him. He was kind and friendly and good looking, maybe? She never took in looks when talking to a person.

“You were the first girl to ignore me.” He often told her. Vijay was the kind of men girls crave for! It was only after the sudden death of her parents that she felt something for Vijay. She had lost her smile with her family and he would crack silly jokes to make her smile. Whenever she had to cry, he provided her his shoulder. He was the only family she had. To pursue his dreams, Vijay had to move to Mumbai after his college. She gave up upon her dream of becoming a doctor and went to live with Vijay. They had rented a small room for themselves. She took up teaching to earn their livelihood. Vijay’s income was almost nothing. Whatever he earned, he spent that in the gym. At times, she would sleep on an empty stomach but never told Vijay about it. If she told him, he would give her his share, which was not acceptable to her. He needed to be fit. His dream demanded that!

“I want to fly in the sky.” He had told her, with shining eyes. He had high hopes and was extremely ambitious. But she liked it. His aura was so powerful, so charming that she had transgressed love. She still remembers her first love-making with him. His body was…perfect! The six pack-abs, the jaw line; he was muscular and powerful. She had given up her aspirations, her dreams – everything –just for one man. The sole reason for her existence was to fulfill his dreams. And what he did in turn? Inflicted pain into her nerves. She still remembers how happy he was when he signed his first movie. The struggle of whole four years and six months had finally paid. She was enchanted by him. She fell in love with him all over again, forthwith. After the blasting success of his movie, Vijay proposed her for marriage. How could she refuse? Arisha was already head over heels with him! It was only after the marriage when their problems began. No, marriage wasn’t the problem. Marriage changed nothing in their lives, except that she now wore that pious thread around her neck. He was an actor – a handsome and hot new actor. His wife had to look amazing. He hired a yoga instructor for her. Her food, dress and life were now being instructed upon by some expert hired by Vijay. Arisha liked those in the beginning. Her life had turned very much monotonous, finally it had some fun. After following every word of the experts religiously for around six months, she had finally attained that ‘perfect’ body shape. She had not stepped out of the house even once in those six months! She wasn’t allowed to make any public appearance during those days. The huge parties were now thrown often. No, not the parties where friends and families gather and have fun. The huge parties, where a number of hot actors and actresses join and flaunt their figures and dresses. Drinking wasn’t her thing but she did. Vijay, the man who never demanded anything from her, forced her to adopt the lifestyle of bigwigs. She tried, but every time she failed. Things went from bad to worse. He would often stop talking to her. In one party, thrown by some director, a news reporter asked Arisha who her favorite actor was. He slapped her after returning home for saying the name of his rival. Arguments turned into slaps, and slaps into kicks. His brutality kept on increasing exponentially. He would not return till late nights. And when he returned, he was drunk. He assaulted her sexually, too. She didn’t even realize she was being a victim of domestic violence. She was trying to fathom where things went wrong while he was swaying with another girl in a song. She was no more ‘hey-I-love-you’ but ‘hey-people-this-is-my-wife’ kind of wife. She was a mere show piece that Vijay put forth in front of his fans and audience.

She switched on the television and flipped through channels until a piece of news caught her eyes – “Arisha keeps silence on her husband, vet actor Vijay Rawat’s affair with actress Hrishali Malhotra”. Ah, the lives of stars are not celestial anymore. The words of that journalist blasted into her ears – "Till when are you going to keep quiet?" It was high time. She had to break her silence and take a bold step. She had finally decided. She reached for her phone and called Vijay.

At five-thirty in the evening, she came out to the beach again. She raised her arms and stepped to the edge. Water didn’t stop. Neither did the Sun. It had also occupied a new position. The birds too, were flying into the distant sky. Maybe, that’s life. Movement. The tree keeps on moving its branches above and roots underneath the ground. Movement symbolizes life. The sky below held the answers, she searched for everywhere. How long would she stay at rest? It was time for her to be in motion. Vijay had moved on; it was her turn. In the glitter of the sky above, she had forgotten that the sky below held her innate happiness. Fame and money were anything but lucrative from far. Sophistication and perfection were just vague terms. At the darkest of the dark hour, everybody wanted to breathe. The happiness that first droplets of rainwater brought with themselves was incomparable. Flying was amazing but there was a special joy with walking on foot. People come close and gradually drift apart. Instead of searching one’s happiness in the people around, one should find a source inside oneself. She had demanded for divorce from Vijay in the last call but she didn’t feel a tinge of grief. She was more of relieved.