The Unsaid Love

I

As John stepped out of the church gate, a figure caught his eyes. A girl in her early  twenties  holding a bunch of beautiful pink roses.  The warm breeze of the winter noon ruffled her pitch black hair. As she walked, the graceful move of her perfect body, held the breath of every guy who looked at this beauty. John’s heart just missed a beat when she passed him by to enter the church. Without wasting a single second, John just turned around, walked inside the church and sat on the last bench of the last row. The girl went to the Lord, collapsed her hands,  crossed her fingers and prayed. John could hear his own heart  beating in the silence that filled the church. He felt so guilty thinking that the sound of his heart may disturb the lady in her prayers. Wrapped in his thoughts,  John placed his chin on the table and gazed at the girl standing between him and the Lord.

Suddenly, the silence inside the church was cracked by a shrill voice. “Cezzane..!!”, someone shouted and the girl rushed whence the sound came. Before John could realize anything, she had vanished into thin air.

With a sardonic face, John traipsed out of the church, took his cycle from the parking area and drove back home. Cycling along the streets, he just thought of Cezzane, the most beautiful girl he ever saw.

John had almost banged into a car, when the loud noise of a horn interrupted the thoughts of Cezzane. Lost in his own world, John did not realize that his mother would be waiting for him at the lunch.

John, the only son of Mrs. Williams, lost his dad when he was just seven. But the love of his mom, never let him feel the absence of a father. John, from his early and tender days of life had been a boisterous boy, who grew up into a very jovial lad, loved by all. Mrs. Williams was a very proud mother, and people respected her for the way she brought her son up.

Resting his cycle against a tree, John crept into his house, where his mother anxiously waited for him at the dining table. He hugged his mother from behind, but the delicious aroma of the food compelled him to attack the lunch like a raven.

Mrs. Williams worked as an LIC agent and had to spend almost the entire day in the office. So she hurried up with her lunch and then rushed to the bus stand, as she had already been half an hour late for her second shift.

After John finished his lunch, he sat on his bed, peeping out of the window. This evening, he did not go out to his friends and chose to sit back home, lost in the infinite thoughts of Cezzane.  He could see her anywhere and everywhere he saw. But in no time, the line of his thoughts was broken by the beep on his cell phone. It was a message from Kevin, “Where are you John..? We are waiting for you to turn up.” John did not pay heed to the message and made  no effort in replying. But the continuous series of similar texts forced him to take a measure.

“I am not well and cannot come. You all carry on. I’ll join you all later”, John’s reply read.

Kevin was John’s best and childhood friend and knew every bit about him. He knew something’s wrong. But decided not to butt in in his matter.

II

John, inquisitively gazed at his watch, while waiting at the church gate, for Cezzane to turn up. Seconds turned into minutes and minutes into hours. When he had almost lost the hope of seeing her again and was just about to leave, he saw her dream girl walking down the lane towards the church gate.

Today, as Cezzane passed by, he managed to gather his courage to wave his hand in the air to make himself noticed. And he succeeded in doing so. Cezzane returned a graceful smile to him.

This smile marks the beginning of  an incredible love story.

Every day, John came up to the church and anxiously waited for Cezzane to smile at him. For over a week he kept himself away from the company of his friends. Every now and then he was surrounded with the thoughts of the girl, whom he thought he had begun to love. Crazy John, spent sleepless nights.

After a couple of days had passed, John made up his mind to request the girl to give him her contact number. “But how..??”, he thought. Not finding a way out, John decided to seek Kevin’s help. That night he messaged Kevin and related everything to him. They chatted until the wee hours and John went into raptures when Kevin came up with an idea.

Next day, John bought a bunch of yellow roses and inserted a card between them and placed it where Cezzane used to sit every day after delivering her prayers.

Fortunately, Cezzane noticed the bunch. She opened the card which read, “Hey Cezzane, this is John Williams. From the day I’ve seen you, I’ve just gone so crazy about you. I know not how and why, but I think I have fallen in love with you. This is my number, please drop me a text. Will  be  waiting for you to write to me.”

That day when John returned home, he went on the horns of dilemma, thinking whether he’d taken the right step or not. But he eagerly waited for a message… a message from Cezzane.

The day passed and gave way to the night. John kept his eyes on the screen of his black and white cell, but not a single message he received. Feeling extremely guilty by his action, he didn’t go to the church the next day. He sat peeping out of the window. When he had just began to curse himself for his action, the cell phone vibrated.

“Why didn’t you turn up to the church this afternoon?”  read a message.

Yes! It was Ceazzne…

Taken aback and without a second thought, John replied, “Sorry Cezzane..!! I’m really sorry.”

And this was the commencement of their long chats. Each afternoon, John stood by his cycle at the church gate, to wave his hand and Cezzane’s lips spread into a playful smile. And as the night crept in, both hung out with their phones and chatted for long night hours. They wrote about anything and everything they did during the day.

With the passage of time, both of them got pretty addicted to each other’s messages but none of the two took the initiative of ringing up the other.

Days turned into weeks.

III

This morning had something peculiar in it. John waited on his bed lost in his world. Mrs. Williams too was at home, eagerly waiting for someone. She was preoccupied with something and impatiently wandered about in her study.

The silence in the house was broken by a sudden knock at the door. Mrs. Williams ran to receive the person. It was a post-master. He gave her an envelope and went his way.

Mrs. Williams’ heart palpitated in fear while she tore the seal of the letter. Before she could finish reading it, she ran up to John and hugged him tight. Not realizing, what was indeed going on, John kept silent. He then took the letter from his mom’s hand and went through it. The note that made Mrs. William burst into tears, actually brought a sardonic smile to John. It was his medical reports, which said, he was suffering from Leukemia, which in common terms means Blood Cancer.

A young boy, in the early twenties who had just began to taste the sweetness of life, did not know which would be his last breath.

Cruel Lord..!! Cruel Fate..!!

When he saw his beloved mother weeping her lungs out, he just tried to console her. He just wanted to say to her that every thing would be fine. He tried his best to speak these words. He fought with himself and he wanted to speak. He held his mom tight, took deep breaths, made innumerable efforts but he wanted to speak. Helpless he felt.

John was actually a boy with speech disability. He had lost his voice out of shock when he saw his father dead.

Mrs. Williams, managed to compose herself but the fear of losing her only son made it difficult for her to bring about a smile to her face.  But John was an ardent lad. He kept smiling at her mom until her lips split into a reluctant smile.

Putting aside his anxiety, John cycled all the way to the church. First time ever he was late and Cezzane was waiting for him. Like every other day, they greeted each other and took their lanes.

John thought of sharing this matter with her soul-mate, but he found her to be more beautiful than his life. He then decided to keep the thought to himself.

And life went on…. and became as normal as it was.

IV

One fine afternoon, Cezzane looked to where John used to wave his hand from. But he was missing. Annoyed at this, she texted him pretty earlier this night. John was busy scribbling something on a piece of paper.

Receiving a rude message from her made him desperate and without a thought he rang her up. When Cezzane received the call, she kept silent and waited for John to speak. Poor girl knows not that the boy who rang her up lives in a world of silence.

None spoke. Not a word they uttered. For some moments, both just heard the soft rhythmic breath of the other and just felt the love in it.

Suddenly, the call was disconnected when John fell on the ground and his cell went into pieces. When he opened his eyes, he found himself on the bed of the city hospital. Leaving Kevin with him, Mrs. Williams visited the doctor’s office.

Meanwhile, John gesticulated Kevin to fetch him a paper and pen. He then hurriedly, wrote a few more things and asked Kevin to add them to the letter that he was writing before ringing  Cezzane up.

With tears in her eyes when the unfortunate mother returned to her son’s bed, she found him lying with his eyes closed. Yes, John had closed his eyes …. Closed them forever. Mrs. Williams had lost her only son. She wept and kissed him and said, “My baby, I’ll miss you silence”.

V

Next afternoon, When Cezzane arrived at the church, she saw a new face standing with John’s cycle, waiting for her. It was Kevin, who on being noticed, walked up to her and handed over the letter to her. And with tears in his eyes, drove away.

Cezzane opened the letter:

“Dear Cezzane,” she read to herself.

“This is probably our last conversation. From the day I saw you, you captivated my heart. Somewhere between the long chats, I fell in love with you. You made things happen inside me. Your smile showed  how beautiful life could be. Last night I rang you up, just to hear your voice. Those were my last breath, which I chose to take with those of yours.  I wish for that for one last time, you’d called my name. I just yearn to hear how “John” would sound in your voice. This is what I could never speak, “I love you Cezzane.”. If you ever loved me too, just walk to the place where I used to wave my hand from, spread your arms, feel me in the breeze and just say to me- I love you too John. I shall be waiting there to hear your voice. Good Bye my love”

Cezzane was dejected and moved to the place with her heart trembling in pain. Tears of solitude rolled down her exquisite cheeks as she walked. She spread her arms and felt the silence in the breeze. She wanted to say, “John I love you”.  She tried her best to speak these words. She fought with herself and she wanted to speak. She held his letter tight, took deep breaths, made innumerable efforts but she wanted to speak. Helpless she felt.  She fell on her knees and bursted into tears and said this to herself, “I love you John. But I’m sorry, I can’t speak.”

Cezzane too lived in a mute world and John never knew this.

---- THE END----