Withdrawal

It started when you carved the image of what we could be in my mind; a portrait of what was never to come, which in turn created the fatality I would come to know all too well.

You insisted the best way to heal was if you shoved your once so seemingly unsullied dreams and hopes and poetics down into the depths and breadths of my lungs.

From every little hit that scorched my tender lips went directly into my abstinent blood; piece by piece of me became intoxicated with your coarse and deceitful self.

In the inebriated haze of what followed, I swear I danced on the moon with the stars in my arms simultaneously while your sapphire glazed eyes immersed me into sweet sweet nirvana.

This only ignited the passions that were imprisoned inside my naive heart until they were expelled through every crevice and crack of my reborn form, until I was sure the inferno now alight inside me could never be doused; and then you left.

Suddenly I was abandoned at the height of my addiction for your sickly dose, stricken with the agony and torment that your ghost enforced upon me; within the desolate early hours of every morning and the hectic afternoons spent in daydreaming blurs.

I vividly remember that at some point in my restless insomniac cycle, for the first time since I was a virtuous and saintly young girl - whom long ago you envenomed with your forked tongue - I prayed.

I prayed hard. I don't know who to, and I don't know what I wished for the most.

It was probably the satisfaction of revenge being struck upon you, which I now know would be the most devastating punishment to wish upon any being. 

Secondly, I pleaded for relief. If only for a minute it still would have been in great solace.

However I am still not at peace with this infinite war inside of me that you have induced.

The aromatic fetid odour of you lingers in my nostrils which engenders the foulest of sentiments; ones that I had only ever grazed past, but now they repress me.

I am bewitched by the rock bottom you have introduced me to. I have anchored myself down, never to leave, never to change, securely insecure.