23rd August 2014

Vanika was a big time music lover; she would listen to all type of songs. As always, she was shuffling through the coke studio songs. She came across this one song which caught her attention and she couldn’t switch to the next one. The music was very soothing, the flute played was very soft and gentle, she kept on listening to the song and just than the lyrics went something like this,

“Aise Veerane Mein Ek Din (In such a creepy forest, one day I will)
Ghut Ke Mar Jayenge Hum (Die of stuffiness)
Jitna Ji Chaahe Pukaro (No matter how much you call)
Phir Nahin Aayenge Hum (I will not come thereafter)
Yeh Mera Deewanapan..” (This is my state of love)

The words played with her emotions and her eyes were now filled with tears. The dampness was trickling down her cheeks. All she did was, whisper to herself “Kritika”, and I knew what was she thinking. It happened two years back and it was something which still bothered her every time she saw me. 

Yes, I am their friendship bracelet around her right hand and I even have a twin. Actually the twin belonged to Kritika, but after Kritika went Vanika wears both of us.

15th December 2012

Vanika was doing her assignment and she was making very weird faces while doing the assignment. The Assignment which she had been writing since the past two hours was already boring her to death at least that was what I understood as she would look at her watch every five minutes. She played some music to get some energy to write further yet she couldn’t and finally she gave up. She switched on the TV, the Saas – Bahu serials could never entertain her, she changed to Star World and luckily `How I met your mother` was running. She loved this serial; her pulse would increase with excitement and laughter while watching it. Her phone was vibrating in her jeans and I could see Kritika’s name but wasn’t sure, but after she said “Hey Kritika” I knew it was her, me being close to the speaker could hear all of their banter. Kritika’s voice sounded lower than usual. Finally she said “Vanika please come over to my place now, its urgent”.

Vanika picked her scooter keys along with her blue scarf. As soon as she got out of her room her mom questioned her zillion times regarding where was she going, why was she going, when will she be back as it was already nine and why she needed to go now. She explained to her mom that it was urgent for her assignment and finally she let her go.

During the drive to Kritika’s place she was tensed and worried about Kritika . She drove as if we were in some race and were there in less than fifteen minutes. Anju Aunty opened the door and she asked her where Kritika was and she pointed her finger in direction of Kritika’s room.

Vanika headed to her room. As she opened the door, she hurt herself by stepping on something unusual as it was dark. She couldn’t see anything. She had come here many times and she knew well where to find the switches. She turned on the lights and noticed Kritika sitting in the corner of her bed. She took a seat next to Kritika and we knew something was wrong, may be even worse. Kritika was a very happy go lucky girl and she couldn’t stay upset for long. Every time she was upset she would eat lot of ice cream, watch her favourite movie, and handle herself. Later she would tell Vanika the whole story as to why was she upset and in the very rare case she did call Vanika when ice-creams and movies could not help.

“What’s Wrong? Tell me” Vanika asked showing her concern.

“It’s him” and she started to sob loudly. Raj, whom she dated, was a person Vanika hated since the very first day. Oh, I know all of this because every time Vanika wrote her diary I would be there above her diary, reading all of it.

“What did he do now?”  Vanika asked.

“He broke up with me, I mean how he could? I did every possible thing for him and yet all he gives me as gift right before my birthday is a break up? Why?” Kritika said as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Vanika did not know what to say so all she did was hug Kritika and she cried her heart out. Vanika told her how much she hated Raj but could never mention to her as they both were dating. Vanika asked her if she wanted to go out for coffee or something but Kritika was just not in the mood. Vanika put her to sleep and left. By the time she reached home she was so tired that she went off to sleep without even changing.

It was Kritika’s birthday and her parents called Vanika to arrange a surprise party for her. All was set. However, Kritika called her in the afternoon and said she doesn’t feel like celebrating the day without him. Vanika knew she was saying the truth and tried some blackmailing. She said, “You got to be happy and celebrate or else even I will cry”. Kritika agreed to celebrate.

Vanika got busy inviting people and making the arrangements. She was pretty tensed wondering how the party would eventually be. Just then her phone sang, she almost froze as the call was from Raj.

“Vanika listen I know you guys have planned a surprise party for her and I want to give her a surprise too. I was stupid to leave her. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me", he said.

Vanika argued but Raj did not give up. He pleaded a lot more than needed and finally convinced Vanika that he indeed had done a mistake and genuinely wanted to come back to Kritika.  She agreed to help him with a threatening condition that every time Kritika cried, Raj would be punished with severity.

It was time to get ready. She picked up a nice dress and soon was on her way to the party. As soon as she reached Kritika’s place, she saw that her room was empty.  Vanika looked for her in the whole house but could not find her. She came back to her room to pick her phone which she had left on Kritika’s study table. Just as she picked up her phone, she noticed a notebook lying on the table, it read Dear diary.

Her phone vibrated .

First Message :

“Someday I will give up on him or maybe I will go and then I won't be there to come back and I hope he regrets leaving me someday because I loved him with all my heart.”

Vanika smiled to herself thinking Raj would indeed be a great surprise for Kritika.

Second Message :

“I am blessed to have you and I don’t know why am I getting these weird vibes, just wanted to share it with you. 

Vanika called her but she didn’t answer the first time so she called again and finally Kritika answered her call.

She was at a café close by and wanted Vanika to come there but before the conversation could be completed there was a loud noise and the phone went dead.

Vanika did not call back, instead headed  to the Café to save time. She took the diary along  with her and I didn’t know why she took it.

She quickly reached the café but she couldn’t find Kritika. She was nowhere to be seen. She searched her in nearby shops, the street and the bookstore but she was nowhere .She started to walk back to Kritika’s house thinking she might be on her way back.

She saw a big crowd but didn’t pay much attention thinking it might be some accident. She was very scared to see those blood and bodies. While she was crossing the crowd she saw something which I saw too. I saw a hand with my twin lying in the middle of the crowd.

Vanika rushed to the crowd and pushed everyone to reach the cordoned area.  Her best friend lay there, on the road, in a pool of blood. She was unable to utter a single word.

I could only see her tears falling on me. The doctors declared her dead before arrival in the hospital.

23rd August 2014
Since then Vanika wore me as well as my twin. She opened her drawer and took out Kritika’s diary which was with her since that fateful day. She opened the last page and read it to herself. 

Dear diary                                 16th December

I don’t know what kind of game life has planned. I gave more than needed and took less than deserved. I don’t know why Raj Left , I don’t know what went wrong  but all I know is that I regret loving a man who couldn’t stand for my love, couldn’t value and take care of my love. But I am blessed to have Vanika around because I would have been dead if she wasn’t. I am blessed to have her. I know some day I will give up on him and will learn to hate him but for now all I want to do is smile till my cheeks hurt, just because  Vanika wants me to be happy.  


Vanika never read any other page apart from the last page. She closed the diary. The song was still on repeat mode and tears rolled down Vanika’s eyes. The lyrics made sense because once people are gone even miracles cannot bring them back. 

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Prashma Patel

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