The meeting
I climbed up the familiar stairs, my hands sliding up the smooth banister. Heart beating with trepidation almost as loud as the voice in my head, what in the world will come out of it? Are you sure it’s a good idea?
I halted in front of my room door, 16 years later, it felt different, it looked different, it had been painted a different colour. Yet, a wave of comfort washed through me, I was back in the land of limitless boundaries. I knocked softly. I could hear her inside, moving about rummaging through things trying to find an outlet for her nervous energy, pretending to be busy. I smiled to myself and knocked again.
‘Jeez, where is the fire? One minute, coming!’ the voice sounded followed by footsteps before the door opened.
There she stood, wearing a t-shirt and jeans, huge glasses slipping on her slightly crooked nose. The big eyes bigger with shock. Her tiny mouth hanging open. Even though I was prepared for it, my expression matched hers, she was so young, on the precipice of life about to begin her journey.
‘Is this some kind of joke?’ She recovered first; the shock turned into anger.
‘I wish it was.’ I chuckled at the well-known feistiness.
‘Who are you?’
‘I’m you.’ I thought coming out with it straight was the best way to say it.
‘What the fuck?’
‘I meant I’m an older you, I am you 16 years later.’
‘Oh! Please! Stop this prank! Though I must admit this is a very good impersonation of me. Only fatter!’
I flinched, my weight weighed on my mind a lot, pun intended. Aah! the follies of the young mind. ‘Look at me don’t you recognise me?’ I whispered.
She opened her mouth to deny but shut it again, dragging me inside and slamming the door. ‘If I’m losing my mind, I might just come to terms with it before making a spectacle out of it.’
‘Don’t worry they are all in the computer lab.’ I sighed, remembering the night.
‘Yeah okay, so, why are you here?’ She moved about distractedly; the tiny room too small for both our energies.
I opened my mouth to answer when she cut me through, ‘Did you figure out a way to finally wear lenses? Why is your hair short and white? And why are your teeth still crooked?'
Accusations, questions tumbled out of her mouth. Her doubts, seemingly forgotten. I took a deep breath; communication was never our forte. ‘I got a Lasik done when you turned thirty. Yes, my teeth are still crooked but you don’t know how many have fallen in love with this smile. And motherhood is the reason why my hair is short and white.’
Her brows unfurrowed as her face filled with joyous wonderment. ‘Please, tell me there are two girls! They must be 8 and 6 years old now…'
This time I cut her off, ‘Calm down, will you? You’re making me dizzy.’ I grabbed her hand and made her sit by the bed. She grimaced but stayed put. 'The reason I’m here is, I wanted to let you know that I wrote a novel, a fiction.’
She turned and scanned my face stunned.
‘It’s called "Unloved in Love". It’s a coming of age Romance, I thought a lot about you when I was writing and wanted to reach out.’
‘You wrote a book after working your ass off for an MBA?’ She covered her face with her hands ‘Wait, did you flunk?’
‘No! I did good! I mean we did good! It’s not about that.’ I began defensively, my hackles rising. I stopped before I could go on a tirade and took a few calming, cleansing breaths and then began telling her about our life. I told her what her quest of finding love would yield, how plans will go haywire, how the future which seemed so easy to hold will slip away from her grasp.
She listened dumbstruck as I spoke about how circumstances will change her, how she’d lose her way and let darkness consume her, till she’ll have no way out but to move forward, but to rise. And then I told her about incredible people she’d meet, the adventures she’d go on and the places she’d travel to and then in a far, far land, away from home, different pieces of her soul will come back together and how she’d wanted to pass on her journey to the world. She listened in rapt attention, sitting cross-legged on that tiny bed, hands on her cheek. By the time I finished, her eyes were glistening with tears again.
‘Don’t be sad, your life turned out great!’
‘How can you say that! I have a boy! A boy who is exactly like me in temper! You know that it....’
‘… was your biggest fear.’ I finished her sentence and laughed, before taking out my wallet and showing her a photograph.
She stared at the photo, her fingers tracking the plastic. Outside, the rays of sun stealthily chasing away the darkness. Her phone rang with the alarm, bringing her back. A new day had begun. There were classes to attend, assignments to be done.
‘But… I don’t want to be heartbroken. Can I not just fast forward my life and get to where you are now?’
‘Don’t you see? These experiences are what made you into me.’
She sat brooding for a while before her stomach growled, a matching rumble sounded through mine. That made us giggle and then laugh out loud. We heard hustle around in the corridor.
‘I have an 8’O clock class, umm I can’t be late. Any last piece of advice?’
‘Yeah, bunk a few classes, loosen up a little. Good or bad life happens to everyone.’ I responded sagely, getting up from her bed watching her pull out another shirt and jeans. ‘And yes, believe in yourself, love yourself. And before I forget once in a while dress up, you’ve no idea how sexy you are.’
She gave a shy giggle at my comment wiping her and my tears with her shirt’s cuff. ‘Do you still cry at the drop of your hat?’
I nodded.
‘Are you still insecure about being loved?’ She fired, realising there was not much time left.
I nodded again, opening the latch.
‘So, nothing really changed did it?’ She mused.
‘Not really, no. But now you know you’ll be okay.’
‘So, when do I see you again? Is this even real or is it happening in my head?’
‘Of course, it’s happening in your head, Harry, but why on the earth should that mean it’s not real?’ I quoted JK Rowling to her, before walking out and disappearing into the broad daylight, feeling giddy that she’d discover Harry potter again!
Rituparna's debut novel, Unloved in Love, is now available online and in all major bookstores.
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