You must think an author’s life is very exciting no?
Aren’t authors considered to be the harbingers of change, stirring the conscience of a reader with their evocative write-ups?
No! not if you are the fairer sex. The men have it far easier!
I know I’m stirring up a hornet’s nest by spouting this gen bordering on misogyny but I have my valid reasons.
See, in my case, most of my important calls have come when I am tending to the gastronomic needs of my hungry family. Imagine my quandary when I’m sautéing the seasoning for Upma (ala Anupma making Upma), or stirring the gravy-sauce for pasta, and my publisher calls for discussing the book status, plot points, or an upcoming meet.
Will I take the call? Of course, I will! The dilemma of ‘to be or not to be’ doesn’t exist at all.
And will I switch the gas off to tend to the call with my whole being? Not really, not with the blessed culinary thing half-done thereby leading to a class one harangue by my gastronome first-born!
It is a trade-off between the esteemed caller—be it the publisher or my peers who now know that I ain’t afraid to get my hands dirty in the kitchen—and serving up less than the palatable fare with the cacophonous accompaniment of family’s groans. I choose the former because that’s an easier cross to bear.
One might ask, why not invest in a household help while the woke ones pounce quickly and declare me to be a classic walkover. You see, I reside in the G-Land, (Gurugram, not Gudgawa), where the helps/nannies sport better threads than me most often and speak in crispier tones than Moi.
They will! After all, they charge anything between 20k -35k a month, for their not-to-be-questioned services. ( Don’t google, it’s the ground gossip!) So, rather than pay through my nose, I will slave and sweat in the kitchen.
Because, in general, writers are an EWS breed you see!
I also get to flaunt a Mother-India halo. Easier to bully the children at such times with a ‘take it or do a takeaway! This is what you get!’ Just desserts, I might add. Still, surely I’m a mover and a shaker! More like masalas and milk really!
Men have it easier. They simply mouth a 'Hey, at a meeting now! Cannot talk! Anything important?' if they are ever caught in a sticky situation. See? Has so much gravitas and jazz oozing there, no?
Me thinks, I’m adapting to this caller status big time, if I’m pottering in the kitchen, battling with the pots and pans.
Now that it is all in the open, you know what I would be doing, when I mouth, ‘Hey, What’s up? I’m in a meeting. Anything Important? Will connect with you later! Toodles!’
AJ wants to know if this sounds adequately authorish, dripping with enough chutzpah?
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