There are certain facts of life one should accept with the inexorable march of Time. One of them is to be addressed as ‘Uncle’ by fortysomething ‘aunties’. I grin and bear it. After all, it means that it’s how they see me—an avuncular figure. Maybe there’s some truth in it, right? I’m no longer young and need to accept the fact with grace. But here’s the thing—it does not mean the end of the world. There’s life left in this old sea dog yet, and in the millions of my generation. And we really should make the most of it.
This is for all those readers older than I am, those of my generation and all those who hope to get there.
I am old. Quite happy to be 65 not out. Am I middle aged, like some of us of this vintage would like to believe? No, that ship has sailed. I’d consider myself middle aged if I had plans to live to 130. No, I’m just old, and it’s okay! I call myself old or a senior citizen when there’s a discount to be had. Otherwise, I’m a dude! Just happy to be here on this planet, in good health and cheer.
I firmly believe that age is just a number, if you look after yourself and are fortunate enough to be free of some serious ailment. It’s all about your state of health—mental, physical...and also financial. My sister in law is 71 and runs marathons. A family friend is 83 and recently went trekking with his daughter and son-in-law. Clint Eastwood will be 92 this year and still directs quality Hollywood movies. American scientist John B. Goodenough was 97 when he won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry in 2019. He is 100 now, still teaching at The University of Texas in Austin. Just saying….
There is encouraging scientific news for my generation. The director of the George Washington University School of Medicine in Washington DC argues that the brain of an older person is much more practical than is commonly believed. At this age, the interaction between the right and left hemispheres of the brain becomes harmonious, which expands their creative possibilities. In other words, an old person can use both hemispheres at the same time, which is not normally the case with younger people. This allows one to solve much more complex problems.
Of course, the brain is no longer as fast as it was in its youth. But it gains in flexibility, according to researchers. Therefore, with age and experience, we are more likely to make the right decisions and are less exposed to negative emotions. Professor Monchi Uri, from the University of Montreal, believes that an old person’s brain chooses the path that consumes less energy, eliminates the unnecessary and leaves only the right options to solve the problem at hand. The New England Journal of Medicine, a weekly journal of repute, says that distraction and forgetfulness arise due to an overabundance of information, not necessarily old age. According to Ian Robertson, Dean of research Neuroscience at Trinity College, Dublin, old age begins at 80, biologically and psychologically. 'This leaves 30 years—roughly age 50 to 80, a period longer than youth—for which we have to have a whole new way of living,' he mentioned at the British Association Science Festival recently.
The above scientific observations should cheer us up, old and young alike, shouldn’t they? That is why you find many personalities among people over 60 years of age who have just started their creative activities. For an example you don’t have to look very far. I published my first volume of short stories at 62. My friend and sea batchmate Rumy took up painting just a few years ago and now paints still life like a professional. Another friend and classmate from school Dinesh is one of the best known photographers in the country. Just saying…
My generation therefore has a lot of life ahead of it, and lots to look forward to. So let’s not fear the ravages of old age—it’ll happen when it does. Tab dekhi jayegi. Keep in mind that it’s not a bad thing to grow old when one considers the other option. Let us live the rest of our lives to the hilt, shall we?
Allow me to suggest the Ten Commandments for all of you who are above 60 (and those of you who want to get there) with due apologies to Moses. There is nothing below you haven’t heard before, I’m sure; just take it as a gentle reminder, or a recap.
- Thou shalt live a healthy life. Health is wealth. If you’re healthy, you’ll save a fortune in doctors’ and hospital bills, adding to your wealth, see? Watch your weight, don’t smoke; drink once a week if you must. Take mild exercise like brisk walking 5 days a week, preferably outdoors. Eat lots of veggies and fruit. Reduce your intake of sugar, fried foods and red meat. Get enough sleep. Nip any emerging health issues in the bud.
- Thou shalt not sweat the small stuff. Do not worry about things that are beyond your control. Do not stress over little things.
- Thou shalt no longer scrimp and save to leave behind everything for your children. You have fed them, educated them, supported them, set them up to face the world—you’ve done enough. Now it’s up to them to make it. And no, your son-in-law is not the next Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk that you need to support his startup. Your hard earned savings are for you and your spouse to live a decent, comfortable life. So do that—live a decent, comfortable life. Leave behind enough for your spouse to continue doing so after you’re gone. Do not leave behind any debts.
- a) Thou shalt not go to seed. Do not forget how attractive you are. Richard Gere, Jeff Goldblum, Big B, Hema Malini, Shobha De are all sexagenarians or septuagenarians, remember? Don’t stop going to the hair salon or the beauty parlour. Do your nails, do your hair. Visit the dentist, not just when you have a toothache. Keep your perfumes and your creams well stocked. When you’re well maintained on the outside, it sort of seeps in, making you feel good about yourself.
b) Thou shalt keep your own sense of style. Do not copy Hardik Pandya’s haircut and then colour it shocking blue. There’s nothing more pathetic than an old person trying to look desperately young. You’ve developed your own sense of what looks good on you; keep it and be proud of it. It’s part of who you are. - Thou shalt remain up to date. Read newspapers. Watch TV news only if you like shouting matches. Go online and be active on social media without getting immersed in it. You’ll be surprised how many old friends you’ll meet and new friends you’ll make. Keep in touch with what is going on and with the people you know—it’s important at any age.
- Thou shalt not bore others to death. Do not use the phrase ‘when I was your age’ or ‘in my time’ unless you want people around you to gag. Nobody wants to know, nobody cares what you did way back then. You can reminisce in a less pompous manner; I’m sure you can find a way. Be a conversationalist; talk less and listen more. Respect the younger generation and their opinions. Face it—they are the future, and will take the world in their direction. I know they can be annoying at times, but don’t tell them that. They’re not idiots and will not be fooled by you. Give advice, not criticism, and when you do, remind them gently that yesterday’s wisdom still applies today.
- Thou shalt not abandon thy hobbies. If you don’t have any, make one. You can travel, hike, cook, read and dance. You can adopt a cat or a dog; grow a garden, play cards, chess, golf. You can paint, volunteer to do social work. You can write blogs like these which someone will read. Find something you like doing and have fun doing it. Get out of the house; meet people you haven’t seen in a while, experience something new (or something old). (It’s important to leave your house from time to time. Accept some invitations, if not all.)
- Thou shalt live thy faith, but not try to convert others. If you have a strong belief, savour it. But don’t waste your time trying to convert others—it’s futile. They will make their own choices no matter what you tell them, and it will only bring you frustration.
- Thou shalt forgive and forget. Do not nurse grudges—they are not worth it. The acidity of hatred will just gnaw into your soul and not give you any inner peace.
- Though shalt live in the present. Don’t let the past drag you down and don’t let the future scare you. Feel good in the now. Concentrate on what you should be doing and how you should be feeling at present. Let the good and bad memories remain what they are—memories.
Let me end with what Clint Eastwood had to say at 88 when asked what kept him going. He flashed that rare grin of his and drawled, ‘I don’t let the old man in.’ That, I think, is excellent advice. Don’t let the Old Man in.
Beetashok Chatterjee is the author of ‘Driftwood’, a collection of stories about Life at Sea and ‘The People Tree’, another collection of stories about ordinary people with extraordinary experiences. A retired merchant ship’s captain by profession, this old sea dog lives in New Delhi with his memories of living more than 40 years on the waves.
His books are available on Amazon. Click here.
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