By Your Side

“If I had low self-esteem, how could I have done what I did tonight?" she spoke out, to no one in particular.

Sharp black eyes looked quietly towards the skyline from the 23rd storey flat, the night sky dotted with jewels, the lights of the city competing against them.

If anyone had looked at her then, they would have seen a figure clad in black, standing forlornly in an empty flat. Only if someone got very close, would they be able to see that her eyes were not troubled. No storms raged inside, they were sharp but calm.

A seasoned sailor would say it was the calm before a storm.

I would simply say that she was waiting.

From an author's eye, all around me I saw black, it seemed to be the theme of the day. Madam did like to decorate the house. That's how she met him. I regret letting her take that assignment almost as much as I regret being here today.

Madam probably did too. Every time he came to her, she had a different theme to the house that they had bought together.

I have seen this house decked during Christmas, dressed as Aladdin's cave on another occasion. He liked it too. He liked change a lot. That should have been our first clue. We were blindly in love though. She with him, I with her. I believed I couldn't be happier than when she was happy. I also believed that he could make her happy.

I had never imagined that I could be so wrong.

A slight sigh immediately put me on a high alert, if I was a dog, my hackles would have risen.

I could do nothing but watch, as I had promised to.

In a dark dress, standing in a dark room, she looked like she was mourning.

Only the red tricking down her chest was coloured otherwise.

The knife that hadn't been there a moment ago, puncturing her heart in the first throw.

"He always said I had low self esteem, that I needed him to boost my morale, that we were two parts of a whole. I never thought I was the third part that tried to force someone out. If I had low self-esteem, how could I have done what I did tonight?" she said again, with a smile.

The wife of the businessman did not smile back.

"He was never yours to give back. You are worthless to him." were her only words, before she left.

For years I had tried to get her to notice me.

I, who had always been by her side.

I, who saw him with his wife in his villa.

I, who had uncovered the truth.

Now, she looked at me.

Smiling, the blood trickling from the corner of her mouth, she formed the words I had wanted to hear so badly.

I knew that they weren't for me. Her world had turned black already; she didn't know I was watching.

The businessman's wife walked into the room where I was being held.

"It is done," were the quiet words she said.

Tears trickled down my eyes now, an uncontrollable flow.

I, who had found out that master was going to go bankrupt.

I, who had seen him push the whole debt on her.

I, who had beseeched his wife to kill her.

I, who pretended to find the body for the first time when the police came for interrogation.

I, who told her of his wife and the sacrifice she could make.

I, who wanted her to believe that she died for love, not because of it.

I, who scrawled these words on the walls of the prison that has been my home for the past ten years.

I, who finally managed to sneak in a knife.

I, who will be found with it in my chest tomorrow morning.

Wait for me madam. I will finally be by your side again.