Disillusioned Narcissus

I feel like Narcissus, well, as long as I don't look at the mirror, or for that matter- at any surface that reflects, including the selfie mode of smartphone. 
Who named the gadget 'smart' phone I wonder. It tends to distort my hitherto unblemished visage into that of a cockeyed one while being photographed.
At least it does so to me; a traitor of a gadget!
I've tried selfies from innumerable angles, just to look close to something that I take me to be. But every time the camera fails me.
Turn a little right- too many folds like a pug. Little more- double chin too prominent, looks like an overfed hippo. More right- a sucked out Alphonso.
Turning left yields no better outcome. A neandrethal, a sea gherkin or an ugly politician- they mustn't be named. 
Tilting a little up or down? Even more confidence-shattering. Ranging ftom Cuthbert Calculus to Voldermort. Yes, He can be named with greater assurance than some modern day leaders!
Worst, the two sides look as different as say- chalk and cheese.
I've considered growing a Van Dyke or a walrus growth on my countenance, but thanks to my God's sanity- decided against it.
So I refrain from all attempts of fortifying my look, as I do from being snapped or looking at the mirror. I still remain the Narcissus as long as I don't look at myself.