I am Sorry... Episode #3

Episode #3

New Life…..

Everything is over….
I just had to forget everything that happened and start a new life. I tried. I went to office. Since I couldn't cross the bus stop without allowing her memories to pop-up in my heart, I took the train. I walked to the station everyday, which is 2 km away from my home, which I had never cared to use before, to get to my office.

I stepped into my office to the usual chatters, gossips, mocks, jokes and to all other noise of any office. I headed straight to my cubicle. As I moved towards my cubicle, I could feel that the sounds in my office was hitting a decreasing value like some volume control, it reduced gradually and when I sat on my chair it felt like that I had sat on a mute button, since everything turned silent. My office's crazy nuts are not used to these kind of serious situations. I knew at once that they all felt sorry for me and were trying to be considerate but eventually their efforts to bring me back to normalcy will fail. Since its been some considerable amount of days after the tragedy, I don't want to give them a tough time, So I laughed on seeing their sad faces. They were puzzled but smiled back in order not to make me look weird. With little awkwardness they came towards me, few hugs, nods and some sad smiles which I had to face before they all leave for their cabins. I sighed and started staring at my system. Suddenly I heard my colleague Anitha’s voice which was like an echo that guided me to the MD's office, since he wanted to see me. God, again I must be stamping on that mute button as I walk. Then I realized that I had to get used to these awkwardness till everyone forgets about my past recent past.

As I entered his room, he greeted me with an unusual smile. Also he gave me the salary cover though it was just August 28th. Actually, it felt weird on being treated nice by him. But it was actually better than the awkward silence that I was experiencing now and then. As I got back to my work I felt that someone was peeping into my cabin. As guessed, it was Anitha. Every office used to have this perfect iconic female employee, who takes charge of everything, but not through much of a talk. But when does such responsible characters end up in a good rapport with me? I had fought with her when I came initially to this office and also on the day before my wife passed away, for reasons I really don't remember now. She knew that I had noticed her. So she came near my cabin and said "Hi". It was the first time that she talked to me politely, so I replied her back with a "Hi". She stood in front of me for nearly 5 awkward minutes before returning back to her cubicle. I could understand that she felt sorry for my wife and for the little fight we had prior to all these incidents. Since she sits in the opposite cabin, I smiled at her as I was glancing around and she relaxed in her chair. Then I went on with my work.

1:30 p.m, lunch time.

I stood up and started towards the canteen while checking my mobile without any reason. It has become a normal habit for everyone to check their mobiles whenever they are idling and I was no different. In a while my phone rang. I checked the caller. It was Dhilip, my best and only friend from childhood till date, at least according to my knowledge. We had different goals in life, so we were separated during our college days. He didn't attend Aasha’s funeral, so he was calling me to apologize for that, I thought. But he was a very practical person and not as sensitive as some of us. I picked up the phone.

He said that he was waiting at my office and asked me to get permission and walk out of the office and into the parking lot. I had no scope for refusing as he had already arrived. So I informed my MD and Anitha before leaving.

He was waiting there for me in his car. I got inside and we started. He was very silent. He didn't even ask or tell me anything. I thought that he would at-least ask about Aasha, but no, he didn't. I don’t usually want people to feel sorry for me or have pity towards me but he is my best pal and I just wished he cared a little. He wasn't conversing and so I asked him where were we going. He replied, “A place”. After hearing this I no longer tried to question him and simply sat back quietly.

He stopped at the RTO's office and I had no idea why we were there. I walked with him and when he finally found some office personnel, we sat. The officer searched a large rack for some file. Then my friend turned towards me and asked me whether I remembered what actually happened to my wife on August 12th. While that was the last thing I expected him to utter first even after meeting for the first time in so many years, yet I replied saying, “an accident”.

He had this curious look and a vexing smile on his face while negating me with a “No, it was an execution!!!”.

to be continued....