Thank You, Young Lady!

Shall I go? Shall I not? Shall I… Hey you! I did not see you come. Back from exercise, eh? Come, come, sit a little, and talk to this old man for some time. Ah-a, wait, before you start, let me guess, you think I am mad, don’t you? C’mon don’t lie, young lady! By the way, you look quite gorgeous in pink. No, really, now don’t shy. Nonsense? Why this old man would talk nonsense? I neither have any promising prospect of becoming your boyfriend, nor have the energy; you know what I mean. Aw, you are blushing! Now, here, sit here. You can place your arm over my shoulder. Yes, good. Let us two young and old gossip, like you girls do, you know. What? Why looking at me like that? Don’t think I can gossip? You look very cute when you laugh. No, trust me, I am telling the truth.

What was I muttering? When? Oh, that! Ha ha; that’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. No, no, not about any date really. How can I have a date? Though I can if you find me a nice looking granny. Ha ha ha!

On thinking, you know, it is about a date; well, kind of. I can’t think straight nowadays, can’t understand the rules quite well. You know the new traffic rules? Yes, yes, that’s the one. So I was wondering whether I would be going out today or this is my date, you know. They say that according to the new rule, everyone has a date for going out. What? I won’t be today? Why? What does that mean? What do you mean by I am odd, huh?  You are calling me odd, young lady! I am just trying to be nice and you call me odd, stupid, senile! No, no, stop it. I don’t want to listen anything from you now. Take your hands off me, you wicked lady! No one respects veterans today. Always making fun of them, like we don’t have any feelings. No, you go, go play your little jokes with friends of your age. Don’t need to come to this old man.

Ah, now don’t cry. Wipe your face. Wait, take this. You look awful when you cry. Never, ever cry, okay? What are you saying? I can’t understand with all this sobbing. Oh, I see, I see, that’s the name of the rule! Now, you are joking, aren’t you? What a funny name for a law! Odd-even? Now I feel awful, I am really an imbecile. Oh, I am so sorry, child. I am awfully sorry. Forgive this old man, please. Please? Phleazzz? Oh, thank you. How good your heart is, young lady! You’ll make a perfect girlfriend, I think. No one can ever leave you, believe me, I’m telling you. What? No, ha ha, I wish, you don’t know how I wish if I was a bit younger. I’d propose you right away. Now, see yourself, all smiling, laughing; bright and beautiful, cute and nice, like a Mickey Mouse. It is a nice day, isn’t it? After a long time I am breathing an air like this in Delhi. Don’t you think? Is that because of the new law? What are you saying? How come? Oh, hmm. Is that so? Ah, I see. I can’t agree more. Yes, we do pollute a lot. Especially if you are an old car. Yeah, I am aging; aged people always create a mess. That’s very nice of you telling me that. By the way, you know, I am one of our kinds. Yes, I am an Ambassador. We were famous for carrying all the V.I.P.s. You must have seen that, with the red light and all blinking over our heads. It’s royal. Yeah? Those were great days. It feels sad that we are not manufactured anymore. They say we cost too much. But they don’t know the value of a rigid, antique model like me. I am aging forty now, and my owner still loves me very much. He has a BMW you know, those posh foreign things. I think it’s his day today. Is he even? He, I mean my owner could have thrown me out, but he has not. He is a nice man. Young lady, come here, remember what I am going to tell you: never ever leave your root, you see. Foreign things look nice; I can give you that, but as they say, you can’t enjoy the songs from your ipod like you enjoy the lullabies from your granny, lying on her lap, listening to her crooning voice. No, I know that. How can you have an ipod? I understand. That’s a kind of figurative way of speaking.

I have been telling you from the beginning that you are nice and bright; to more specifically put it: pure, unpolluted, and nubile. You don’t pollute. You are a bicycle after all. What a nice name you have written there. Ladybird? That is such a sweet name for a gorgeous lady like you. How does it feel to go out in morning with Hiya? Hmm, exercising is good for body. Hiya needs it, especially for she is so cute and beautiful. I bet boys can kill each other to have a date with her. On a lighter note, we don’t need working out for our body, what do you say? High-five for that. Yeah!

Won’t you be going anywhere else today, young lady? What a nice thing that you don’t need a number plate. Oh, I see. So Hiya goes to college too with you now. That’s great. Now you get to see the city more, don’t you? Yes, yes, I can understand your excitement. Less cars in the road, and ah, is that so? More cycles. What? Don’t lie to me. Even boys! But they like bikes more, I suppose. Wow, people are changing indeed. More cycles mean less pollution. Is this all because of the new law? Tell me more about it.

So, you are saying, every morning, after working out, Hiya sits and talks with someone. Is he a young boy? Ah, I see. That’s interesting. Oh, they’ve kissed today. You don’t say! How romantic is that! Hey, don’t blush. He hasn’t kissed you, has he; that you are blushing? What have you said? Tell me again. Oh ho, now I see. You are telling me all this because of that, huh, gossip girl? C’mon don’t shy, how ‘bout him? So, when the boy parks his mountain bike beside you, you two start chatting. Am I right? I can see now why you like the mountain bike. Why? You tell me why. Okay, okay, if you really need to hear it from me then listen; mountain guys are normally of high stamina, they are agile and strong. And now I don’t have to tell you what an agile, strong boy means to a girl. What? No, no I didn’t mean something like that. Why are you so angry suddenly? I was just joking. Okay, I am sorry, okay? I know, it’s not all about sex, you love him. Don’t you think I know what love is? I once, was in love with one. Yes. Yes, really. What’s her name? It’s Padmini. She too was one of a kind model. You won’t see those cars now. They are extinct. Once, my owner drove to a park with his family and there she was, just two cars away from me. We talked in our sign language. One headlight-blink means you’re beautiful; kind of equivalent of wink, I mean. Two headlights; sympathy, one headlight with a side light; asking a question and so on. We talked and talked, every Sunday evening, at the parking lot. We even planned how we would marry and what kind of children we would adopt. But, you know, young lady, one day she was not there in the parking lot. I waited and waited, I looked for her everywhere, wherever I went. But never found her. It’s like one time she was here and the next moment, poof! Vanish.

Now see what this old man has done to you. Don’t be so sad. Life is always not in our control, you see. Sometimes, we have to rely on chance and fate. As for you, isn’t it sheer luck that you’ve met that mountain guy? What’s his name? Ah, Roadio; nice name, suits a mountain guy. It should have been Romeo, for our Ladybird, huh? Ha ha! Now, where was I? Yes, don’t you think it is mere chance that we find our love? Absolutely right. Totally it’s a matter of probability. For my case, I was both lucky and unlucky. I was lucky because I found my true love and unlucky because I didn’t get to live with her. Whoa! Why sudden tear? No, don’t think like that. It is not necessary that whatever happened with me will happen to you. You can’t live like that. Now, you and I both know, we are going to die someday in some car disposal place. For that, we can’t stop living, can we?

You should thank people who have come up with this odd-even rule. Yes, why not? Listen, if there was no odd-even rule, Hiya wouldn’t go with you to the ground, and she would take her own car. If she didn’t take you, you wouldn’t meet Romeo, sorry, Roadeo either. Think about yourself at least. You were like forgotten in the garage. If there was no such rule, Hiya would not bring you out at all. Oh, see there, Hiya is coming. It must be her college time. Accha, tell me, who is that man behind her with her father? You have no idea? Okay. Silence, they are coming, let’s hear what they are talking about.

“Rajesh ji, I know you love your Ambassador. But you know how much pollution it causes?”

“But I have been using it for a long time. I don’t feel like selling it.”

“Government is offering extra money for selling old cars. You sell it to me for 2 lakhs. You won’t be getting a higher price than this.”

“Hmm. I don’t know.”

“Look Rajesh ji, pollution level of this car is too much. It can’t be allowed on road.”

“Okay, okay. If there is no other way then what can I do?”

“Okay, so that’s the deal. I’ll come in the afternoon for all the paperwork.”

So, umm, so that’s it, I guess, young lady. Thank you for talking to this old man. Hiya is taking you out; she has a college to catch. Go. Don’t cry now. I’ll be alright. I know it is coming. Don’t worry, young lady. Who knows, maybe I can find Padmini in where they are taking me. I had my share of time here. Forty years! Don’t you think it is long enough time for a car? Ah, see? The car lifting machine is coming too. Okay, stay happy. Don’t fight with Romeo. Uh, sorry I am losing my mind; Roadeo. Stay happy, young lady, don’t ever be sad. Look in front or you’ll crash your head against the gate! Bye-bye, young lady. Stay happy. Stay happyyy!