The lost one..

I sat down on the beach, facing the sun, which was sinking into the huge deep orange sea. I was sitting alone; my memories were my only company.

I had never thought that someday I would be sitting alone somewhere; thinking about my lost one. I had never imagined spending my life alone.

As I sat there, I could feel my eyes swelling with tears and didn’t realise when a small tear ran down my cheek and splash into my bucket of memories.

 Images of that day came flashing back, a very similar day and yet so different.

It was just another day of togetherness. We were sitting on the beach, looking at the setting sun. We could hear the sound of the waves breaking just beyond the sandy beach. It was just mesmerising; so refreshing and so pure. He was with me, by my side, holding my hand.

“I have never felt so good, it is the first time I am on a beach” I giggled, holding his hands tightly.
He laughed.
“Whenever you come here, I will be with you and we will walk through the sand together, holding each other’s hands. I will never let you come here alone, I promise. I love you,” his words made me swell with happiness and left me speechless.
“I love you too,” was all that I could say at that moment.

He stood up and walked up to the water; I was just looking at him.
He formed a cup with his hands, picked up some water and splashed it at me. He wanted to enjoy the moment.
I too, didn’t hesitate. I did the same.

Very soon we were playing on the sand. He came near me and whispered, “I want you to be happy like this always. I can’t bear to see a single tear in the eyes of my princess.”
I felt like the world had stopped and it was only me and him that mattered. I hugged him.

Even my worst nightmare could not have matched with what happened next.

I could see the waves swelling, I was scared; we had already been too far in the water and it would take time to wade back towards the shore. “Let’s go back. I’m scared. It’s too late.” I said, pulling him back.

He also could sense the impending danger. He turned and made me walk faster.

He was quite a few steps behind me when suddenly his foot got stuck in the sand. I tried to reach out to him as the waves were getting bigger and approaching with high speed. He shouted, “Go back to the shore I am fine and I’ll come. You don’t come here, it too dangerous.

I ignored his words and waded back to him. I lugged him hard and thankfully his foot came out and we were now literally running towards the shore. The waves were right behind us and could catch us any moment now. He pushed me several times, so that I could reach the shore faster. He assured me that he could manage himself and it was because of me that he was so slow; else he would reach the shore within seconds. I increased my speed and somehow reached the shore. Some people pulled me out of the water. I could see him struggling in the water and he was almost within the safe area. Our eyes met, he smiled, a look of reassurance appearing in his eyes. I smiled back, my eyes filled with tears of happiness. I stretched my arms to hold his hand, but I couldn’t. He slipped and fell back in the water; the raging wave crashed.

He was gone.

I couldn’t see him. I couldn’t control myself and jumped in the water. The wave had settled and I swam in the remnants of the wave.

I was late, everything had vanished. My heart was sinking with the thought of the inevitable. I was bobbling in the waters, the dark sky above, the deep waters around me, waiting for another wave to come and take me to him.  

My world had come to a standstill.

I couldn’t drown as I was a swimmer; I floated, directionless, aimless. I was as cold as ice. It seemed like a lifetime until a streamer came to my rescue and brought me to the shore.

I survived. He gave me a parting gift, my life, a life filled with regret of not being able to save him that day.

The sun had set, taking with it the brightness of that day. Usually, it brings back the light soon enough, but this time it gave me darkness for life. I knew the sun would never ever rise again in my life.

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It was dark now. I stood up, wiped my tears and reminded myself that he would never want his princess to cry. I put up a brave smile and whispered to the sky, “I know the reason you wanted me to live. I’m living but to fulfil your dreams. Your princess isn’t crying anymore and I hope you are smiling some where up there. I will love you forever”