The Unfaithful Man

" Am I talking in French. Why don't you understand I don't have time for your stupid conversations " he retorted back.

" Is it that tough to take out five minutes for me in a day.You play badminton for an hour,you go out for dinner and drinks with friends,you have been participating in all college events. You have the time, but not for me " I cried my heart out. His eyes had turned red with anger. I was scared to pieces. He clutched me in his huge arms fiercely and said , " It is Over between us " he was a giant man, 6 feet tall, overbuilt and heavy.

I was numb and could not imagine a life without him. I have loved him deeply, for as long as I can remember. I hugged him as tight as I could and wept. I begged him to stay, it was beyond me to imagine a life without him. Yet he left as if he felt nothing for me. I often wondered if I was  the only person in that relationship, as if it was one sided, from my side. It was me who was putting in all the efforts, adjustments, sacrifices. His rudeness towards me, his high handedness and careless attitude towards me, all this was slowly killing my heart and I was not very happy with him, but I knew he needed me. For some unknown reason, I felt protective about him. I called my best friend in desperation to seek solace. She assured me that he too loved me, it was just that he was worried and probably preoccupied. I believed her, or should I say I wanted to believe her. Sometimes, best friends can misguide, out of love and the urge to shelter a friend's broken heart, they say things to console your heart, but which are not true.

A couple of days had passed post the heart breaking episode. I reluctantly picked up the cellphone and dialed his number. " Hello Jaan" he said lovingly. I smiled. He apologized to me and said that nobody  could love him the way I do. He wanted me back in his life. He had realized that it was his mistake." You're my Lady Luck . My life messes up when you are not around. Promise me you won't ever let me go "he cried.

I cursed myself for not calling him. Emotions got the better of me. I was straightforward and never said something that I did not mean. I flasely beleived that the world was like that too. I assumed people said what they felt, pretence was never my forte hence it never occured to me that people were capable of saying what they did not feel and deceive others with their bitter sweet words.

He came to Delhi for a week with his friends from college in Pune. I was excited and was eager to meet him and his friends. Five days had flown by, he had not made any attempts to meet me. I had been waiting for long. He did not bother to introduce me to his friends, although he had mentioned he would take me to meet his gang. Afterall they were aware of our relation. After a much prolonged wait he called me one fine day and asked to meet him at 11 am. It meant taking a leave from office despite having a crucial meeting , but the emotional fool in me agreed. He asked me for a favor, " I told my friends that you are my ex girlfriend. We broke up a year back." He said unapologetically. There was not a sign of shame or remorse on his face. I wondered then, how could I have fallen in love with someone as deceptive and spineless as him, who took me for granted.

This was a moment of realization. It dawned on me, that this is a worthless man who does not value good things in life and hence does not deserve them. He does not deserve me in any way and importantly I deserved better. I decided to let go off him and never ever look back. Its been four years since then. I hear he is still single and was battling depression. His " Lady Luck" was gone for good taking with her all that kept him sane. Karma has strange ways and yes good Karma does invoke sanity at the hour of need.