Once I stayed with a friend for a few days. I noticed that at every opportunity his daughters used to exclaim, “My Daddy’s the best in the world!” He used to become pleased, his chest used to expand a little to accommodate the latest dose of pride, and he used to return the favour by asking, “What do you wish to have, darlings?” Why he, in spite of being a salesperson, behaved in such a naive manner was beyond me. As the girls and the doting father continued with the routine three times in a twenty-five-minute car ride one evening, I looked at his wife with questioning eyes. She immediately ejaculated with full conviction, “Yes, he is undoubtedly the best in the world, Amitabh! The best father, and the best husband!”
I could not suppress my laughter. Her response had reminded me of a story of the four women who suddenly came across a naked man. The first one said, “Wow, what a man! Alas! He is not from my family.” The second one added, “You are right. He is neither from your family nor from any house in this lane.” The third woman gasped, “What a lovely specimen! Isn’t he a stranger to our locality?” After a good look, the fourth lady sadly remarked, “How I wish we had at least one man like him in our entire village!” While the fourth woman intimately knew all men in her village, my friend’s wife was claiming to personally know all men on the Earth!
Exaggeration is a favourite tool of writers. Mark Twain wrote in ‘Old Times on the Mississippi’: “I could have hung my hat on my eyes, they stuck out so far.” The good old Shakespeare made Romeo speak of Juliet, “The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars!” Cartoonists take advantage of exaggeration to catch eyeballs. Stage actors, dancers, and singers fall prey to the lure of exaggeration to add charm to their craft. A long journey is often termed as “to the moon and back,” while a dull person is branded as “pea-brained” in common parlance. Right from infants to the very old, everyone takes the help of exaggerated gestures to …
To achieve what? Why do we exaggerate? Is it necessary to exaggerate? Would my friend have ignored the demand of his daughters if they had not pumped up his ego?
Some form of exaggeration is habitual, and is generally an indulgence in propriety and politeness. Nursery rhymes from a toddler earn the accolade of “very good,” first attempts at classical dance are greeted with “very nice,” an abusive child in the nursery is called “very bad,” the newly-wed wife is always “very beautiful,” an overcharged meal is usually “very bad,” an ambient temperature of 18 degrees Celsius in Dubai is “very cold,” and people who cease to be your friend may be “very cunning.” It matters little that most of the rhyme remains clung to the interiors of the reluctant mouth of the toddler, that the dance is a demonstration of a disastrous disconnect between rhythm and steps, that the abusive child shares toys with classmates but they don’t, that the newlywed wife sports owlish eyes on a simian face, that not a molecule of the food is left uneaten, that wearing even a light sweater at 18 degrees Celsius in Dubai may be akin to standing next to a blast furnace, and that each of the lost friends has a personal reason behind their inability to contribute to the friendship any longer.
Exaggeration is a part of the Urdu culture and a practice in humility, following which one’s own mansion becomes poverty’s abode (ghareebkhana) while the hut of the other person is deemed fit for being termed as full of riches (daulatkhana) and the not-so-respectable guest gets a name of honour (ism-e-girami) while the host becomes similar to dust (khaksaar).
Exaggeration is an effective tool for grabbing attention. It is also used to divert attention. Most magic shows will fall flat like a leaked soda water bottle if the attention of the audience remains continuously focussed on the relevant activity. Move a step further, and we encounter exaggeration done to gain sympathy. If you are disinclined to go somewhere and by the grace of god manage to bump your big toe into something hard, introduce a limp in your walk, twist your face in pain, and confirm in a weak voice, “Yes, sure, I am coming!” Unless you have a date with a tyrant who nests a slab of ice in place of heart in their chest, you are likely to be excused from the meeting. Remember, though, that I will consider you as a wonderful actor, but also as a deceiver and a responsibility-shirker once you pull off that stunt successfully.
Experts in exaggeration impress people by boasting about themselves with false claims, and succeed in manipulating the audience. As I write these lines, a herbal medicine company, after being rapped on the knuckles by the Supreme Court of India, has submitted an unconditional apology for making misleading claims about the efficiency of its products. The company sold 2.5 million “immunity boosting” kits for Rs.250,00,00,000 (about 34 million US Dollars) in the first four months of their launch in the mid of 2020, the year Corona made its grand entry in the country. How many succumbed to the dreaded disease in spite of the availability of such a wonderful drug, is anybody’s guess.
Exaggeration, when stemming from cognitive distortions, leads to an inaccurate assessment of reality. One may underestimate problems and fail to overcome them, or catastrophize situations and lose hope. Falling in the first category, a close relative has ended up with a financial burden after all his commercial ventures in twenty-five years failed one after the other. Last contacted, he was planning to set up a fresh business by seeking private funds. A single negative event may be enough for those in the second category to sink their self-esteem further, making them feel that they would never succeed. Of course, you know that Walt Disney, Oprah Winfrey, Steven Spielberg, Soichiro Honda, Isaac Newton and many others became successful only after tasting failure initially.
Narcissists are notorious for exaggeration. After jumping a metre they fabricate a scenario of great difficulty and increase that distance multifold. I wonder whether such exaggeration improves their self-esteem.
Unless exercised for humour or to lift up the spirits of a terminally ill person, exaggeration almost always leads to something negative. After reading “finest” on the packaging of many substandard items, I have simply stopped believing in the printed line on product packages. Their stretching and twisting of facts makes me doubt all claims made on social and traditional media. It may not be much different for you. Sooner or later, people who exaggerate or lie lose credibility and trust. They seem to lack honesty even when stating facts.
Even with a single member’s exaggeration, teams can be easily misled to take wrong action, misuse resources including money and time, and fail. As an aftereffect, healthy and efficient teams may become sick, get infested with infighting, lose reputation, and even get disbanded.
So, now that we know why we exaggerate and how it harms us, the question arises: Can we identify and manage it?
Thankfully, the answer is: Yes!
As a first precaution, be vigilant about superlative terms such as “very,” “incredibly,” “best,” “super,” etc. Judge, are they really necessary or have been added for effect? Can the adverb be replaced with data? For example, instead of calling something a “super-silent engine,” can we describe its sound level in decibels?
Secondly, replace bombastic words and expressions with plain speech. If you had a decent breakfast at 10 in the morning, would you be “starving,” “ravenously hungry,” or simply “hungry” at 2 in the afternoon? Does the regular office work really leave you “exhausted” at the end of the day, or do you actually feel only tired?
Thirdly, rather than throwing lofty figures, start submitting facts that propel or throttle the prospects of a newly introduced product in the volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous environment. If everybody follows suit and sticks to reality, no exaggeration would creep in.
Fourthly, watch yourself and correct the slip ups. Old habits die hard. Learn to control the damage, for example, with statements such as this: “I’ll do it tomorrow … on second thoughts, let me correct that I will do it on the next working day, as tomorrow is a holiday.”
Finally, sincerely examine the reason underlying your exaggeration. Chances are, you will find it in this article itself. You can also count the number of hyperboles in this piece.
Good luck!
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