Dreams Barred

“Listen, Neeru,you better agree to what I say, else you know the consequences!”! Abir was looking piercingly at Neeru, waiting for a reaction.
Neeru was aghast at his proposal – she could not imagine that Abir, her first cousin would stoop to this level. He was 12 years older to her and was supposed to be her protector and not predator.

Neeru steeled herself and with a calm voice disagreed to his lecherous proposal. Abir gave her a lewd grin and said, his tone thretening, “Okay, your choice. I wouldn’t hesitate to upload your X-rated video on the Internet along with your phone number. Oh and I would do one more thing to make your life more colourful – I’ll morph my face with that of your dear friend Kaizad and pass on that MMS to Kaka (uncle) and Kakima (aunt). I am sure they will be proud of their daughter’s performance.”

With this threat hanging on Neeru’s head like a sword on that sultry, mid-March afternoon, Abir turned on his heel and left her feeling bewildered and devastated. She could not believe the ominous threat that Abir had just proclaimed. She could not fathom as to who she should approach for help. Her grandparents were least bothered about her since her birth, her only fault being that she was a girl. They were very fond of Abir and would refuse to believe a word against him. Her parents and brother were software professionals and were too busy achieving their monthly targets and scaling the corporate ladder. With a sinking heart and a throbbing temple she realized that her life and her dream to be a fighter pilot was now completely doomed. In fact, she had a premonition that her life would never be the same since that fateful afternoon a week back. 

Abir was her Jethu’s (father’s elder brother) son and would visit them regularly. In fact, since she was a baby, Neeru had seen Abir around and hence there was never any question of distrusting him. They had spent quite a few lazy afternoons together playing carrom or just listening to Kishore Kumar. It was only after Neeru’s eighteenth birthday that Abir had started behaving strangely. His father suffered a massive stroke and was left paralysed . Since then Jethu spent his days bedridden, wallowing in self-pity and cursing the world. Neeru’s father had to take on additional responsibility of providing for Jethu’s brood – his seven daughters and a son. Abir left his studies and started mingling with the local goons. Neeru had often caught Abir chasing the local girls, but did not heed too much it, thinking that was natural of young men. She never bothered to inform her Jethima (Jethu’s wife) or any other elder. Neeru was busy with her college and chasing her dreams of becoming a fighter pilot. She dreamt of soaring high in the blue skies and her friend Kaizad propelled her dreams further by bringing in vital inputs regarding the various tests she would need to clear and the subjects she needed to score well so as to be eligible for the entry-level tests.

One particular afternoon, her grandparents were away to attend were a family function. Neeru came back from college and after having her lunch switched on the music player. Kishore Kumar’s mellifluous voice wafted in the room and lulled her into a daydream. She was jolted out of her reverie by the persistent ringing of the door bell. Neeru opened the door to see Abir casually leaning against the wall. She beckoned him to come in. Abir looked a bit different, his eyes were blood shot and he seemed to be tottering. He walked straight to her room and said, “I see, you are enjoying your solitary afternoon in the company of Kishore Kumar. Great!”

Neeru followed him to her room unsuspectingly and sat down on her bed. Abir suddenly got up from the chair he was sitting on and sat next to her on the bed. He held her hand and said, “Neeru you have suddenly grown up so much, you look like a young woman now, though I am your cousin, I can’t help but admire your blossoming beauty. After all, I am a man too, isn’t it?’’ Suddenly Abir’s palm brushed past her bosom and Neeru shivered. She didn’t know how to react to his abrupt action and kept quiet. Taking her silence as a sign of acquiescence, Abir said, “I have always wanted to hold a woman close, but have been unable to. Today, however, I can’t hold myself any longer. I want to feel you and I assure you nobody would come to know about it. It would be our little secret and you will enjoy to the hilt.”

Neeru felt her limbs grow cold and weak once Abir’s intentions dawned on her. She somehow got to her feet and ran out of her room. Abir quickly got up and grabbed her hair. She shrieked in fear and cried for help, but her cries went unheard in that posh, multistoried building where everyone was too engrossed in minting money and living selfish lives. No one was around to rescue an eighteen year old from the clutches of an incestuous cousin. After satisfying his lust, Abir left and Neeru lay crumpled on her bed – the very same bed on which she had spent countless hours dreaming about donning a fighter pilot’s uniform – writhing in pain and tormented by the recent scenes graphically playing in her mind like flashbacks.

Her grandparents, parents and brother came back home late at night to find her sleeping on her bed crumpled like a rag doll. They didn’t wake her up thinking she might have fallen asleep after her studies. They were used to seeing her fall asleep haplessly on the bed after long hours of studying. She was after all very focussed about making it to the Air Force.

Neeru woke at dawn with a start and felt persistent pain in her lower abdomen. She had thought of going to her parents and telling them about Abir’s dastardly behaviour but could not muster enough courage to narrate her ordeal. She had no hope in her grandparents though.

For the entire week Neeru could barely eat, sleep or be at peace. While she was pondering on her situation, her mobile screen lit up. She checked her phone unmindfully but what flashed in front of her eyes sucked her breath away. She could not breathe for a minute. The entire beastly act of Abir raping her was being replayed in front of her eyes. Horrified, she realized that the cousin had recorded the entire act using his phone and in a conniving move had blurred out his own face. Before she could get a hold on herself, her screen lit up again, this time it was an SMS threatening her with dire consequences if she didn’t meet him that afternoon at his friend’s place. Neeru realized she was caught in a quagmire with no route of escape. Her parents had failed to notice her listless appearance throughout the week, caught as they were in their official commitments. That day too, they along with her brother left for office, her grandparents also hadn’t bothered to at least talk to her since their daily routine of watching television was of more importance.

Neeru switched her mobile off and dragged herself to the bathroom; she stood under the shower trying futilely to cleanse her ravaged body and her broken heart. The moment she came out of the bathroom, her Thakuma (grandmother) arrived to inform her that Kaizad had called multiple times on the fixed line since her mobile was switched off. She said that Kaizad had informed her that Neeru hadn’t contacted him for a week. Thakuma didn’t forget to express her disapproval at Neeru’s friendship with Kaizad adding that such things tarnish the reputation of a young girl. Neeru had no strength to refute her Thakuma’s comments as she usually did. She wondered what was left of her body and mind to be tarnished any more!

She called up Kaizad a few minutes later and he immediately sensed that she was not her usual self. After much prodding from him, Neeru could hold back no longer and narrated her ordeal. Kaizad advised her to stay calm and wait for him and together they would file a police complaint against Abir. As soon as she hung up, the doorbell rang and a few seconds later Abir appeared again in her room along with their grandmother. Thakuma was already complaining to Abir about Neeru and her constant chatting with boys on the telephone. Abir eagerly agreed with her and added that young girls should refrain from talking to boys, let alone meet them. He sought Thakuma’s permission to take Neeru out for an ice-cream which she wholeheartedly gave. The moment grandmother was out of ear shot, Abir wickedly grinned and told Neeru that since she had switched off her phone, he knew she might not come to meet him. Hence he had come to escort her for their rendezvous.

Neeru had no choice but to leave with Abir before Kaizad could arrive. Abir drove her in her father’s car. The moment they entered Abir’s friend’s place, Neeru could sense that her horrifying ordeal was not over. There were four lecherous looking men in the room whose eyes glittered the moment they saw Neeru. Abir turned towards her with a leer and threatened to upload that MMS on the Internet if she refused to comply with their demands. Before Neeru could react, all five leapt towards her and their nails dug into her flesh. Her tender soul and body was sluiced through and through and when she could take it no more, she lost consciousness.  When she regained consciousness, she saw Abir sitting with a knife pointed towards her menacingly. He threatened to kill her if she ever opened her mouth or refused to comply with his future demands. He boasted that he would not hesitate to tarnish her image completely. Neeru mustered courage to ask him why he committed such a heinous crime on her, as she had always respected him as an elder brother. Abir scorned at her choice of words and replied, “But I never considered you as my sister. You were just a ticket to my freedom from poverty. I was just waiting for an opportunity to carry out my plan. Since the day my father became an invalid, we have been living a hand- to-mouth existence while you and your family was lapping in luxury. The pittance your father doled out every month was never enough to fulfil my needs. Mmy new friends have introduced me to so many pleasures and I need money to indulge in them. Henceforth you will provide me with that money. Today’s act has also been recorded and there is no escape for you, Neeru. Now that you know your future course of action, arrange for Rs 50,000 by next week. Oh, by the way, I forgot to inform you that our first clip has been sent to your parents and with the benefit of modern technology, Kaizad’s voice has been incorporated in the clip in place of mine, so you can expect a grand welcome once you reach home. Neeru, don’t take any chances with me and arrange for the money else I would not think twice before sharing the next clip with the whole world.”

After dropping this new bombshell, Abir dragged Neeru up and kicked her out of the door. She could barely stand and somehow crawled to her car. She was totally bewildered, in immense pain and shock. She prayed to God to deliver her from this torment and as if in response it started drizzling suddenly. The cold water provided some succour to her parched throat and her innocent soul. She wanted to escape from this pain, this trauma and brutalization that she had to endure for no fault of hers. Her dreams to fly seemed distant now and all she could think of was to somehow erase this humiliation from her life.

She opened the car door and after a painful effort slipped into the driver’s seat. Her trembling hands could not even fire the engine as the keys kept slipping from her fingers. After much struggle, she started the car and drove to the main road. The pain eventually overcame her senses, her hands slowly lost their grip and she drifted off finally to sleep.

The next day’s newspaper only carried a very small headline – NEGLIGENT DRIVING KILLS TEENAGED GIRL.