Finding the dawn

“I shall only marry a prince. My grandmother says Meena has to marry this bank employee because she is not as fair and beautiful as I am, That is why I am named Prabha, the morning glow and she is named Meena, the dirty fish in the pond” Prabha was telling her friends applying mehendi on her beautiful hands. It was her elder sister Meena’s marriage and the household was busy with the preparations. The spirits were a little low though because everyone except Meena and her mother were unhappy with the match. In fact when Meena had told her parents about Suresh, her father became furious. He slapped Meena for her outrageous behaviour. How could she fall in love with the son of a middle-class accountant? Her grandmother swore at her for defaming the family in the village and community. But, Meena was adamant. She was sure that Suresh was a good and capable guy. She had no hassles about his humble family background. Meena’s mother was the only one who tried to look at this in a positive perspective. Although she could not support Meena in her wish to marry for love, she did support her regarding the respectability of Suresh’s family. It took Meena several weeks of arguing and trying to persuade her father before he finally gave in to her decision. They had invited Suresh’s family to their house as per the custom. Suresh and his parents were simple and had very few demands. They expected no dowry from Meena’s parents. Things were settled quickly and an auspicious day was chosen for the wedding. Meena’s grandmother still continued to express her displeasure in the affair by taunting Meena about her average looks which she now believed was the reason for the poor match. She would often say so to the relatives who came for the wedding.

Meena was supposed to marry Raghu, the eldest son of the richest man in the village. Although Raghu’s father and Meena’s father belonged to two opposite political parties, their being of the same caste and their matching wealth made them bequeath this match when Meena and Raghu were still children. Much had changed since then. Meena’s father lost the seat of the village sarpanch twice to Raghu’s father. Meena’s family slid down the popularity and influence radar. On the other hand, Raghu’s father became richer and was hopeful of the Assembly ticket in the next election. So, they had called off the marriage a year ago. This was a big blow to the pride of Meena’s family. Her elder brother had challenged in a fit of rage that he would win in the next Panchayat elections. When Meena had told the family about her wish to marry Suresh, they could not accept the alliance with a humble middle-class family. The wedding was a modest affair attended by family on both sides. Meena and Suresh left to town where he was employed in a bank.

Life was like a game of see-saw for Prabha and Raghu’s families the next five years. Prabha finished her high school education and refused to attend college in town. She was never good in studies. “What use was a college degree to a beautiful girl like her who only waits for her prince charming?” she joked with her friends. Raghu’s younger brother Mohan returned home from college in the big city. He was a handsome looking young man with all the fashion and city habits. Prabha and Mohan soon started liking each other. On the political front, both Prabha’s elder brother and Raghu had got for the Assembly ticket from their respective parties and spent a lot of money in a fit to win. But, a senior politician and a very respected candidate of the ruling party had won the election. Both families took it as a blow to their pride and were looking at a reconciliation with each other. Hence, three years after Meena had married Suresh, Prabha was married to Mohan with all the pomp and show and much cheer from both sides.

Suresh passed the national selection exam and got posted as the manager of a bank in another town. Meena came home to share the joy with her parents and family and spend a few days with them before she left for their new job. Prabha came too to meet her elder sister but mostly to show off her new sarees and jewels and her rich husband. She left no opportunity at pointing out how simple Meena’s clothes were and how few jewellery she wore. Prabha took her late grandmother’s role in taunting Meena who bore everything with silence and a smile. When Meena asked Prabha if Mohan would think of working in the city, Prabha went so far as to declare “only the middle class people did cheap jobs and worked for other people. Mohan is neither poor nor in need of any job”. Their family had a lot of land and the income from them was enough for generations to survive, she boasted. Prabha did not know that Raghu had been selling some of their lands for investing in businesses in the town. Mohan did not care for the details; he simply went with his brother’s plans. They sold several acres and bought a cinema theatre in the nearby town. “It is a promising line and a fashion for rich people to be associated with the movies”, Raghu had said.

 A year after that, Meena gave birth to a girl and Prabha to a boy. To mark the birth of the heir, Raghu bought a car to bring him home. Prabha and Mohan did not of course know that Raghu had bought it because all his friends now owned a car and drove it to town.

When Meena went home for their cousin’s wedding, she was wearing a simple silk sari and a gold chain that Suresh had bought for her with his first salary as a bank manager. Prabha was wearing her wedding saree but her late mother in-law’s jewels were noticed by one and all at the wedding. One day when Prabha and Mohan were returning from a late night movie in their theatre in town, some goons attacked their car in a deserted patch of the road. They demanded all the gold from Prabha, they had a knife and threatened to kill them. Prabha gave them all she had, but they suddenly grabbed her by the arms and started dragging her into the fields. Prabha kicked and begged mercy but they didn’t budge. She was shocked to see Mohan shaking in fear and begging to be left alone, but he did not even try to resist when they started pulling her away. They took her a few hundred yards when Prabha noticed a faint light from the huts behind the field. She quickly collected her courage and screamed for help. Some men and women came running on hearing her screams and the frightened goons left her there and ran away with her gold. Prabha was traumatised after the incident. What bothered her was not the danger she almost fell into, but the incapacity of Mohan to even resist or try to save her. Somehow, she thought Mohan looked shrunken, almost small for a man, after that day. She did not mention the incident to anyone at home, neither did Mohan.

Prabha sent her son Abhay to the same boarding school that her husband went to, while Meena’s two daughters went to the public school in the city. Mohan neither realised nor understood when Raghu had sidelined all the funds from the theatre into his accounts. Raghu slowly detached himself from the family, sold his share of the land in the village and moved to the city with his wife and kids. Their father was old now and could not oversee the farming activities in their land. Mohan tried for a year but he lacked the knowledge about agriculture or the skill to handle so many labourers. He gave away all the land on lease. Revenue started to dwindle. Abhay had to return from boarding school and join the school in the village. When Meena came with her kids to visit her in holidays, Prabha noticed how well behaved they were and how brash Abhay had become. Abhay neglected his studies and began avoiding school. That year and the next there were no rains and therefore no returns from the farms. Prabha asked Mohan to consider taking up a job in the city, something she wouldn’t even have thought of a few years ago. But, it was getting really difficult to run the family year after year. At first, Mohan tried to talk out of it saying nobody in his family ever worked for other people. When Prabha nudged him further, he finally conceded that he had dropped out of college and never finished his degree. For Prabha, he had shrunken further, may be another inch.

Prabha had enrolled in the Open University for a long distance bachelor’s degree. She initially had trouble understanding the procedure and filling the applications but the village headmaster had helped her. She had taken this step when she realised that Abhay was lagging in school and neglecting his studies. He was fifteen and on the verge of failing his board exams. Prabha could not think of a better way to encourage her son to study. She met with resistance from her family, her husband and even from her son. Prabha went ahead with her studies however, and persuaded Abhay to join college in town. A couple of years later she graduated in commerce and shifted with her husband and old father in-law to a small rented house in the nearby town. Mohan had sold most of the family property by then but was still ashamed to move into a low class neighbourhood. He had no means to fend for the family and hence had no argument to support. Abhay was furious at his mother’s decision. He felt ashamed and avoided visiting them even during vacation. Prabha joined a local school as a social science teacher. Mohan stayed home and stopped meeting any of his old friends and relatives.

When Abhay graduated from college he came home to his parents with a proposal, one of his friends’ uncle lived in the USA and had a placement agency. He had promised Abhay a job in the US. There was a security deposit of a few lakhs to be paid so that Abhay could get that job. Abhay asked his father the money only to realise the dire state of the family finances.  He slowly began to realise that it was not his father but his mother who was providing for his college fee and expenses these couple of years. Abhay was ashamed at his attitude towards her all this time. He had made fun of her and her job as a teacher. He had been ashamed to mention it to his friends.

 He apologised to Prabha and decided to return to the city and look for some employment there. When Prabha stopped him and told him that she would be able to pay the security deposit for his job in the USA, tears rolled down his eyes, he was silenced in humility and respect for his mother. He wiped his eyes in disbelief when his mother seemed looming taller than ever in front of him. He felt like he was that small child who clang to her saree again. The day he boarded his flight to the US, Prabha felt a joy within her that she had never experienced before, not on the day she married Mohan, neither the day Abhay was born nor the day she got a job. That day she had found herself, her true self. She thought she would call Meena and apologise for everything.  The moment she returned home from the airport, the phone rang, it was Meena who was expressing her joy at Abhay’s progress and telling how proud of Prabha she was.