Growing Up!

Growing up was one thing that I wanted to do singularly as I was a kid. To begin with, let me introduce that kid to you. I was like any other kid, a happy go lucky one. Being the youngest of two sisters, I had the liberties which only the youngest child of the family would understand. I have enjoyed my childhood in a time free of Wi-Fi, dish TV, online shows, etc. Well, I am sure you get the picture. I am a very late 70’s child. In case you are reading this, please do not skip the late part, for it's very dear to me. Both my parents were working, but I can safely tell you that we both kids never felt neglected or had any insecurity issues that these millennia’s seem to have. It was a comfortable life with all taken care of without having to ask for anything. We would get one dress each for major events like Birthdays, New Years', Diwali, and the like. In fact, we never fancied anything.

I and my sister are few years apart, but for her when I was 6/7 years old and she was 10/11 years old, I was this weirdo whom she needed to distance herself from. But me being me, would ignore her need and make sure I always hopped behind her, made my presence among all her neighborhood friends. Haan, the fact that I would simply stand there with a racket in my hand totally ignored, would never hurt my self-esteem, such was I, a relentless kid. In case you are beginning to feel sorry for me, please don’t, I was no angel. My sister still complains after playing with her, I would abandon the play area and let her do all the cleaning up. In fact today I feel sorry for her. And as if Karma catches up, today I am put in a similar spot by my 8-year-old.

Both my sister and I adored our dad. He was the best man in our life, in fact, still is. It's an undisputed title that he shall forever adorn. Whenever I wanted to go out, dad was the go-to person; whenever I wanted to skip school, dad was the go-to person; whenever I wanted to have Pizza (Yes! We used to get pizza back then as well except they were not your typical Dominos rather they were from bakeries), dad was the go-to person, so much so when I had to confess that I wanted to marry my-then friend and this day husband, dad was the go-to person. I can actually write a book on what an influence he has been in my life. But that is for some other day. For now, I want to just say, that my dad taught me the one most important thing in life and that is how to love unconditionally.  Getting back to me, although I had everything working well for me, there was one thing I always envied, I envied the elders for not having the need to go to school, to do homework. I used to think, what an amazing life it must be, getting up late, dressing up, going to the office as if it's like a walk in the park.

We were very close to this family which was there next door. It was very natural back then to be attached to neighbors. Such luxuries are taken away by this close-knit apartment culture, where the only place to meet our neighbors is the lift lobby. But back then, we used to share laughter, food, watch movies together, and whatnot. I and my sister would often lunch with them just as often they would too. These lunch dates would be mostly on Sundays when aunty would make kaala channa and rice or rajma rice. Unfortunately, today when I am all grown, I seem to be nothing less than a looser, I have lost it all, my dad, my hero is gone; my bakery pizza has been taken over my rackets gone; the unconditional love has become more judgmental and conditional love; my school has gone and so has my homework which has been taken over by my son's homework, and trust me that is very painful; my neighborhood has gone; my aunty and uncle, the rajma chawal, the moong dal halwa which aunty used to make for me and send home in a steel tiffin is gone. It's as though, I am sitting with empty hands. Today unfortunately if there is one recurring dream of mine, it is to go back to being that kid again. I want to go back being that careless, go back and relive and treasure more than I ever had.

Alas! So much for wanting to grow up…