Jasmine

Under the orange-pink sky I sat near her on the dry grass. The evening sun was peeping out of the horizon, but my eyes could not see through the dark clouds my soul was engulfed in. To them everything was dark.

I looked at her. She was still, quiet and aloof. If at that very moment my emotions were to take the form of water in the oceans, it may just drown a few countries. Mustering all my strength, I opened my mouth, and all I could say was a weak "Hey".

And then there was a long silence…

Myriad feelings were taking shape within me, in shades of grey, and they all seemed to choke my throat.

I looked at her for a few moments, hoping she would say something. A minute passed. Two.... Three… Not a word was spoken. Clearly, she was still mad at me.

"Jasmine", I finally said, "I just want to let you know that since the day you left me, I have felt nothing else but pain." It was all that I managed to say and stopped immediately for my voice had begun to crack. From the very moment I was abandoned by her, pain and agony had clung on to me like a scared child clings to her mother. I tried to regain my strength and composure; I had to say more.

"I don't know what my fault is, or what I did to lose you. But I am ready to apologize a thousand times, if that is what it will take to bring you back in my life. Please, just come back." I said and stopped again. My eyes were all welled up with tears and I could not see clearly. I hadn't seen my face in the mirror for days, but I am quite sure my eyes had reddened. They must have been in pain too.

I simply couldn't understand why she was behaving like that. She was always so sweet, gentle and caring. I had never in my life seen her so angry and stubborn. It had been just a few days back when she changed completely. And now she just won't give up. She used to love me so much, but now she won't even talk to me.

What surprised me the most was the fact that she knew what it was like to be separated from the one you love. And she made me go through this in spite of that. Of course, she did know the true inexplicable definition of love.

How could I forget the night when I was stuck in traffic at the highway, and a torrential rainstorm shrouded a part of the city? She called me a hundred times to check if I was alright but I didn't pick the phone. I was already peeved by my boss that day and the advent of the storm made me slam the phone in the backseat of the car. As I reached home, she had slapped me, warm tears flowing down her soft pink cheeks. She had hugged me tightly, wrapping her tender arms around my wet body. At first, I couldn't understand what it all was supposed to mean. Only later in the middle of that night did I realize, and then my own eyes had become misty.

It seems like it all happened yesterday.

I looked at my hand and it reminded me of the gift I had got for her. "Look, I brought these flowers for you Jasmine. Your favourite- yellow daffodils." I said and offered them to her. She didn't seem to be interested though. So, I placed them before her. A cold breeze washed over us.  The daffodils rolled, the dry leaves on the ground rustled, the branches of trees swished. Yes, the weather was pleasant, for the birds flying above us, or for the squirrel scurrying up the tree near us, but not for me. My eyes were fixed on her, waiting eagerly for her to say something. A murmur. A whisper. Anything.

I wanted to tell her so many things. Things like how it had become so easy for me to not sleep for so many nights in a row; that my room had begun to stink like a stable, for I had stopped caring for cleanliness and civility since her parting. I wanted to tear open my heart and show her that nothing was left there now that she was gone. 

But all I could do was hang my head low, and let my tears wet the tombstone, silently, slowly, hoping it was a bad dream. Oh, if only it was.