Listen to your heart

Once there was a young man named Kaushal. Let me draw a picture of him for your imagination. He is about five feet six inches tall, very fair, speaks impeccable English, has acne scars, wavy hair, good sense of dressing (minus the pink shirts he favours at times) and is professionally very successful. He is a careful driver and rarely goes over the speed limit. He reads a lot of books and isn’t afraid to cry when he watches an emotional film. When Kaushal was in his early twenties he fell truly, madly, deeply in love with Bhavna. Bhavna is an extremely attractive woman. She is about five feet five inches tall. She has a fantastic figure, a husky voice and she looks good in almost everything she wears. Back when Kaushal first fell in love with her, she was his senior both professionally and in years. She was full eight years older than him. When he met her she was already married with the signs of being happily so. But the real fact was that there were issues in her marriage. Without going into the nasty details let’s just say that she was desperately unhappy. To cause them even more grief, she and her husband couldn’t conceive. Back then adoption was still not something that people preferred. They wanted to try everything before giving up. But Bhavna was different. She decided that she would adopt a baby. She did everything to make sure that she was able to adopt. Through the unhappiness and the stress, she had a rock for support, in her friend Kaushal. He was always there for her. Then one day she realized that he was more than friend to her and anyway his feelings for her had always been pretty obvious. So they started what was a long and exciting relationship. He was a rock to her through her divorce, which was nasty, scary and absolutely terrifying. She was afraid that she would lose her baby or something would go wrong. Through God’s grace, though things worked out for the best.

Their relationship continued and grew. Kaushal began to climb the corporate ladder and she continued to grow professionally and as a single mother. Her greatest joy was her child and the fact that the young man who she was in a relationship with loved both her and her son. Her son was extremely fond of Kaushal too. They did so many things together that Bhavna didn’t worry about her son growing up without a father. Kaushal had already told his parents about Bhavna and his parents were very warm and welcomed to her into their family. Eight years had gone by; Kaushal had been trying to convince Bhavna to marry him for sometime. He was completely devoted to her and her happiness and she was devoted to him. She wanted to be a real family with him. Then out of the blue, like in every epic romance the cracks appeared. Their work hours, their friends, rumour- mongers and just about everything got in the way of their happiness. After eight long years and to the shock of their dearest and closest friends they broke up.

Kaushal was heartbroken. He decided to move to their company’s sister concern and into different office as he couldn’t bear to see her every day. Bhavna was more than happy to let him go because she couldn’t deal with seeing him daily either. They continued to bump into each other once in a while. They attempted to be civil at these encounters but after a while they just ignored each other’s existence. Their friends were torn between the two, and were forced to keep a fine balance of being friends with both. Bhavna had to also deal with her son’s loss of a friend in Kaushal. Kaushal would have alternate bouts of crying or drinking. He even tried to find some other woman who would make him feel the way Bhavna made him feel. His family convinced him to meet girls eligible for marriage. After al he had to do something with his life. He thought an arranged marriage was solution. Bhavna immersed herself in her work and went into a social overdrive. She went out with friends. They tried to find her a match and she met many of the eligible men. Though she enjoyed their company, she came home disturbed that none of them made her feel the way Kaushal had made her feel. Time went on and they managed to carve out some kind of lives for themselves. They would choose not to attend parties where there was a chance of running into each other. Finally their emotional wheel moved to the angry stage. Both Kaushal and Bhavna were angry with each other, but wrecked their frustration on everything around them. They were angry at their friends, their jobs, their family and anyone else that came in their way. Finally they reached acceptance and decided that it was time to move on. They were able to be in each other’s presence without erupting. They even reached equilibrium where they could have a conversation once in a while. They didn’t have much of a choice. By chance both started working together on a project and they had to find a way to coexist.

In their newfound enlightened status, Bhavna was the one to have her epiphany first. Two and a half years after they separated she realized that wherever she went, whoever she met and whatever she did, could not change the fact that she loved Kaushal. She would always love him - always. It didn’t matter what he had done or what he had said during the last two and a half years, she could love only him. It was in that moment that she finally realized how hopeless the situation was. She had found the love of her life, and she had lost it all. The little hairline cracks had widened into chasms like the Grand Canyon and there was no hope whatsoever of recouping from that. It just wasn’t possible. Extremely depressed she decided to call him. She didn’t like what he said yet she found a ray of hope. He was willing to try and be just friends with her. They went for a trip into the mountains with a few couples both knew. He was still angry. But when he suggested a friends-with-benefits kind of relationship, she readily agreed. She knew she was clutching at straws but she didn’t want to give up hope. Kaushal had convinced himself that all he needed was to be around Bhavna once again to cleanse his heart, mind and soul of the love he felt for her.

They didn’t talk about their new relationship. They behaved as usual. Bhavna knew her heart but Kaushal was still in the dark. Bhavna was afraid to think of what would happen if indeed he never got out. She became complete wreck because of the tension. But she kept her distance. She was afraid to lose what little she did have with him. Then one day Kaushal asked her if she wanted to go to Goa for a four- day vacation with his siblings and their spouses. She wasn’t sure whether she should. Kaushal’s sister and cousins were all married and she knew them all, had even attended everyone’s wedding. But the thought of her and him in Goa together, was just too tempting for her to refuse.

They landed in Goa and after checking-in, headed straight to a shack on the beach. Kaushal was not talking much except for a, ‘Do you want a drink?’ or ‘Do you want something to eat?’ and so on. Bhavna plastered a smile to her face and told herself to forget everything and enjoy his company. Goa was magical, so she just needed to let everything go for the next three days. She was still having this conversation with herself when a chilled glass of beer appeared in front of her. She looked up and said thanks to Kaushal. Kaushal moved in front of her and pushed away the cheap table in front of her. She looked at the table and then back at Kaushal. She found him eye-to-eye with her, bent on one knee, and holding a small box open with a diamond ring twinkling inside. Her eyes grew wide and her mouth was slightly open. She hardly hard him when he poured his heart out to her. But when he asked her to be his wife, she said yes!

This is a true story though I have changed the names around. I attended their wedding a couple of months back. I get to meet them almost every day and it gives me great pleasure and hope to see them together and happy after so many, many, years of unhappiness. I guess loving someone isn’t easy. Trying to make a life with them is even tougher, but if you find the right person, it is worth all the heartache.