Malti Madam's Classroom

Have you met  Malti ma'am? No? Ok. Let me tell you about her. I bet, after reading this you will know who she is.

I  don't remember the exact time or date or day, I met Malti madam. I have been seeing her, probably, ever since I have gained consciousness. She is a distant relative who would often visit us, and whom we would certainly meet in every family gathering, be it a birthday or a wedding or a sacred thread ceremony. Malti madam is almost like God. Omnipresent and omniscient.
She seems to have a degree in every subject under the Sun. You just name it. Music, dance, painting, cooking, bridal makeup, gardening, interior decoration, skin care, hair care, photography, dressing, literally everything. Thus, being omniscient, she takes her liberty to open her classroom anywhere and at any time. It's kind of a vow that she has taken to educate every 'seemingly uneducated individual' who cares to listen to her. Or rather one who cannot escape her classroom.

I was very young, when on a Sunday, Malti ma'am, visited our house as she did often. That particular day, my mother was cooking a particular fish recipe, which all of us at home were very fond of. Malti ma'am entered the kitchen and opened her cooking class instantly. Whatever my mom was cooking was instantly changed by adding some other spices of our dear madam's personal choice which according to her would enhance the taste. During lunch, we were surprised by a different kind of fish curry, not the one we were waiting for. 

We grew up attending Malti ma'am's class on and off. Because anything that we did would not be complete without Madam's expert advice. Such was her expertise that she could open a classroom anywhere, be it your bed where you are wrapping gifts for someone or your living room where you are arranging flowers in your favourite vase or in the garden where you are clipping some extra growth.

I got married, but my relationship with Malti madam continued. And she continued imparting her education. She would teach how to wear a matching bindi, or a high heel with Saree, or a matching dupatta, or how to stand with husband for a nice photograph, or how to make elaichi tea. All thanks to her. Otherwise, how would I know that blue bindi matches with blue saree and not green? How on earth would I know that washing powder is used for washing clothes and tea leaves are used to make tea!

Recently I met her in a beauty salon and probably I looked a shade darker. She, with all good intention, and a lot of pity on her expressions began to share all her knowledge about skin care, not caring to know if I cared to look fairer. 

Now, that the education system has gone topsy turvy, and overnight the whole system turned digital,  teachers have started online classes, mind you, our dear madam is not left behind. She too has upgraded herself. Now at every interval, religiously, she sends forwarded messages through WhatsApp. And through her we get to know every recipe of every concoction to cure Covid. We know how much ginger should be added to what amount of cinnamon, fenugreek, black pepper, tulsi, and honey. We know about pranayam, yoga, breathing, pruning. And we also know-how by taking, or not taking vapour we can beat every fungi that are appearing in various colours these days. 

Her quality is her confidence, (read overconfidence) and high self-esteem, which has made her a universal teacher. She has assumed that all of us are nincompoops, and she is the one who bears the burden to transform us into educated human beings. 

So, now do you remember attending Malti Madam's Classroom?

Acknowledgment: I thank each and every Malti ma'am whom I have met till now, who have inspired me to write this.

Disclaimer: This piece is fictitious. The resemblance of name or place or events mentioned in the piece is mere coincidence and doesn't intend to hurt anyone. It's just a reminder to each one of us who nurture a Malti ma'am within ourselves . It's a reminder,  that we should know exactly when  NOT TO OPEN a classroom, because the unsolicited and unnecessary advice that we shower upon people, may sometimes be really irksome.