She, Her and Herself

The doorbell rang with utmost ferocity. At once, Ahalya knew that it was her daughter’s tiny fingers pressing on the low level switch. She rushed to open the door, expecting her daughter’s ever smiling face. Instead, six-year-old Shreya’s face was downcast. She wiped away few droplets of tears that had streamed down from her eyes.

“Sonu! Kya hua?” asked Ahalya, pulling her into a tight embrace.

“Mummy, I don’t like to go to school!”

“Why? Did anyone scold you in school?” asked Ahalya with concern.

“No Mummy. My class teacher has given me a tough homework.”

“Tough homework? Whatever it is, Mummy is there to help you. Why are you crying for that?”

“No, you cannot help me with this. You have told me not to talk about that. And now that is my homework! What will I do?”

Ahalya’s heart wrenched to see her daughter cry. She patted her lovingly and made her to sit on her favourite orange chair.

“Sonu, stop crying! Tell me, what is the homework?”

Between minute gasps, Shreya spoke, “I have been asked to write a paragraph on my father.”

Ahalya’s face contorted into agony. Words found no way out of her mouth. She shivered, with a deep fear pounding her heart.

“You said not to speak about him, right?” asked Shreya innocently.

Ahalya couldn’t reply anything. How can she explain to a six year old that her father Makarand was a goonda and that he had abandoned them long ago? How can she tell that her husband had allured her to resign her job as a bar dancer, married her, impregnated her, robbed her money and finally left her when she had finally given birth to Shreya. How can she make her understand that she was once again forced to take up bar dancing, the only profession which she had loathed right from the beginning.

After a few moments, she found her voice. “Don’t worry Sonu. Mummy is here. I will help you with a paragraph on your father.”

Saying so, the two began to work on a short prose about an imaginary father, who existed only in Shreya’s notebook.

As Ahalya spun words of ethereal imagination, she reminisced back to her old days mentally. It all began when she was a seven year old. She had been stranded in the middle of the road in Bandra, with her parents being crushed under the wheels of an overspeeding truck. She was then picked up by someone unknown to her. She could neither understand what they spoke nor pronounce her address correctly. That led her to an orphanage where she was taken care by a rather sweet lady named Sister Maria. She grew up to be a voluptuous girl with a fair and beautiful round face, sparkling green eyes, luscious pink lips, curvaceous hips and jet black hair. When she was searching for a job as an 18 year old, her seductive assets landed her in a dance bar in Mira Road in Mumbai. With no other means to fend for herself, she reluctantly joined the dance bar and soon became a popular dancer. Her popularity increased as wealthy patrons leered at her, showering her with a lot of cash. Though she was famous, she never indulged in any kind of sexual favours for them.

She even received the wrath of a fellow bar dancer named Lavanya who would constantly throw goading remarks at her. Her income increased to three lakh per year, while her counterparts were paid only one lakh. This made her a sensation in the entire Mira Road. She stayed in a women’s hostel and took charge of her chores by herself. She was seen as a humble person by her roommates who had better professions than her. Though the glamour of the bar world enticed her, deep inside her heart she hated her profession. She hated herself for getting into such a filthy job. She constantly thought about her parents who would have provided her better education. She even thought about Sister Maria who was forced to shut down the orphanage due to a few legal financial issues. Her life had turned topsy-turvy since then.

Later when she turned 20, she was noticed by a high-profile gangster Makarand, who promised to get her out of the job by marrying her. Ahalya was pulled into a toxic trance which Makarand’s make-believe words effused. As promised, he married her and released her from the dance bar. Finding a new way to freedom, Ahalya enjoyed wild nights with him, categorizing the vibes between them as passionate love. As soon as she conceived a child, Makarand informed her of his long assignment in London, took away a huge lump of her earnings and vanished. It was later that she realized that she had been cheated by him, when he had cunningly made her sign the divorce papers in an inebriated condition. There wasn’t a night when she hadn’t cried herself to sleep. Burdened with a child in her womb, she went into mild depression. Soon she was diagnosed with viral fever as a result of her stress. The doctor advised her to stay mentally fit in order to save her baby. It was then that she made up her mind to be strong and bounce back to life. She wanted to give birth to the child and make him or her successful in life. Taking a loan from a bank, she paid for her medical expenses, thrived on a nutritious diet and maintained a peaceful mind. At a few instances, Makarand’s thoughts came back to haunt her. But she vehemently brushed them away, for the sake of her own well being. Finally, after a long struggle, she gave birth to a wonder and named her Shreya.

Five months later…

“Aahaa! Look here who is back,” jeered Lavanya on noticing Ahalya’s return to bar dancing. “What makes you come here my dear friend?” she continued to mock.

Ignoring her, Ahalya made her way to the dressing room and clad herself in a turquoise lehenga with silver plated ornaments to go with it. Applying kohl and dabbing a pinch of red lipstick, she set out to meet the bar manager.

“So you are back?” asked Kiran, the bar manager, in a sarcastic tone.

“Yes, I have to earn for my daughter,” she replied plainly.

“You gave birth to a daughter? That’s good!” He exclaimed gleaming. “If you want to earn some more money, we have an additional profession for you. Most of the girls of this bar get into it in order to meet their expenses.”

“What is that?” asked Ahalya, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

“Don’t act as if you don’t know. It’s the major source of income for Kamathipura, the red-light district!”

“Dammit! Don’t ever have your imagination running wild. I would never get into such a business. And you cannot even persuade me to become a strumpet!” thundered Ahalya.

“Then, you have to meet the consequences. Since you had resigned and returned back, your pay will turn to two lakh per year instead of three. If you perform exceptionally well like you did before, then I might hike it. Otherwise, you have to rot. I have a notion that you might not perform well with this post delivery body of yours which seems a little fat to me.” Saying so, Kiran chuckled out a devilish laugh.

Ahalya tightened her wrists, swallowed her tears and replied back, “Wait and watch! I would soon become the popular Ahalya I was and earn well for my daughter!”

With tears brimming in her kohl filled eyes, Ahalya hopped on to the illuminated dance floor and gyrated to the beats of Maar Dala from Devdas. A cheer erupted from the crowd as a celebration of her comeback.

*****

Ahalya wiped off the tears from her eyes as she bounced back to the present. She caressed Shreya’s hair lovingly. After a few minutes, she looked at the completed homework which was about a fictional father. At that moment, she made a promise to herself: ‘I will never allow my daughter to become like me. She will be respected and worshipped all over. I will prove to the world that a bar dancer’s daughter needn’t follow her mother’s footsteps and that she can create an own identity for herself. I will educate her well. She will make me proud.’

*****

Sunil walked inside the Opaque Bar to have his usual round of cocktails. As soon as he entered, his eyes wandered to the dance floor to search for his love. To his disappointment, she wasn’t present. Sadly he moved to the counter and placed his order. Then his memories carried him to a week back when he had noticed her for the first time, gracefully dancing on the dance floor to a classical mujra. She had looked like a goddess to him with her flawless pink skin. While the other men had been noticing her heaving bosom, he had locked his eyes with her green eyeballs. There was something magical about her that enchanted him. Instantly, he had known that he was in love with her. It was love at first sight! He had never minded that she was a bar dancer. He had also brushed away the premonition that she might also be a harlot. What captivated him was her remarkable beauty and a strong aura that surrounded her, making her look like a brave and majestic woman. He had come to know that her name was Ahalya. He had also learnt about her failed marriage to Makarand and her daughter Shreya. Nevertheless, he began pursuing her every day.

“Excuse me!” Sunil jolted back to the present when he heard a sweet voice calling out to him. He turned around and opened his mouth wide. Standing before him was his love, his life and his obsession. She was making a gesture at him to move away from the place as she needed to have a drink. But he remained pasted in his seat, with his eyes bulging out and gaping at her.

“Hi!” He greeted her reluctantly. She threw a nasty look at him and replied, “What do you want?”

“I need you. Will you marry me?” He blurted out loud.

SLAP!

The music stopped playing and everyone gathered around him. A commotion began, with a few scolding Sunil for misbehaviour and with some accusing Ahalya for overreacting.

“What’s happening here?” Kiran appeared out of nowhere.

“Kiran! I think this guy has an idea of bedding me today,” announced Ahalya.

Sunil was flabbergasted. Tears welled up in his eyes as he replied, “I...I didn’t mean like that Ahalya. I meant that I love you! I love you with all my heart. I have never even imagined asking favours from you. You are the one who makes my world go around. I would never even…..”

“Shut up! Cheesy lines will not take you anywhere. You are under the influence of alcohol. I can very well see through your dirty mind. Dare you come closer!” With a raging stare, Ahalya left the place, wounding Sunil’s heart deeply. He sunk back on his seat, overwhelmed with emotions of hurt. My words have been misinterpreted. I should make amends. I will prove my true love for her.

He observed her soulfully dancing to the beats of Kajrare with tiny droplets of tears in her eyes. Once her performance was over, he sprang to his feet, asked the DJ to play a romantic song and hopped on to the dance floor. With Ahalya on the stage, he began dancing to the lyrics of the number. He reached closer to her and apologized for his behaviour. He then took her by hand, performed a few steps along with her and finally proposed to her by kneeling down. Ahalya was shocked as well as surprised.

“Are you serious?” she asked him, choking through her tears.

“Yes! I am. I love you and I promise you that I won’t leave you like Makarand. I will surely take care of you and Shreya very well. Believe me, I will stay with you forever.”

Ahalya couldn’t believe that everything was happening for real. “I...I need time,” she replied hesitantly.

“Sure, take your time. I will wait for you.”

Finally, Ahalya smiled. She exchanged her number with him. On her way back home, she thought about his proposal and decided to consider him. With a blush, she dialed his number. Thus began a journey of affection and love between them. She got to know that he was a 28-year-old management executive at Kiosketic Private Ltd.

*****

“What kind of a rule is this?” Ahalya barked at Kiran who had a wicked grin on his face.

“It has been the rule of this bar since its birth. Don’t you know about it?”

“I…I have never known about this!” stammered Ahalya. She slapped her forehead in haste and cried bitterly.

“There is nothing to cry over this. After you become a 40 year old, lose your charm and retire from this job, who will replace you? Obviously, it will be your heir. Since you have given birth to a daughter, she will take your place as a bar dancer in this bar. You have to sign this agreement!” He threw a legal document at her.

“No! I cannot do this!” She roared.

“If you cannot do this, then you have to lose your job. And I very well know that you have no other means to support your daughter. You have to stay in this profession. So, sign this and lead a peaceful life.”

“No! You filthy scum bug, mind my words, I will never allow my daughter to become like me! She is Shreya and I cannot let her become another Ahalya. Why don’t you impose this on the other bar girls over here? Why are you eating my head? Answer me!” Ahalya clutched at Kiran’s collar and shook him.

“Hey, you ******* slut! Take your hand off me!” Saying so, he pushed her away and struck a blow on her head.

She raised her hand to strike back which he held firmly. “If you lay your hand on me once again, I will feed you to lecherous men and make you their slave. Understand?!”

Ahalya shot a burning glance at him. Eyes filled with rage, she spat at him.

“Shit! What the heck! I know how to get this agreement signed by you. Wait and watch. Now, go and perform. It’s getting late.” He pushed her on to the dance floor.

Ahalya bopped to the thumping beats in a ferocious manner. She whirled fiercely, her burning rage to protect her daughter evident in her moves. She felt weak and helpless at the same time. If she refused to sign the agreement, then she would lose her job and end up penniless. No one would get her another job pertaining to her previous one. Tears of pain filled up her eyes.

After her performance, she entered the washroom and splashed cold water on her face. Later she met Kiran in a secluded place in the bar.

“I need some time Kiran. I will ponder upon this.” She said pleadingly.

“What? But you have already signed the agreement.”

“What do you mean?!”

Kiran thrusted the agreement at her which had her signature in bold letters. A chill passed down her spine as she heard Lavanya’s wicked cackle from a corner of the bar.

“I…I didn’t sign this….”

“You did not? Then who else?” Kiran and Lavanya went into splits.

“I forged your signature. Now if you don’t abide by this, you’ll be behind bars.” Lavanya taunted her.

Enraged, Ahalya stormed out of the bar and into the streets. Her floodgates opened and she wailed her heart out.

*****

“Marry me, Ahalya,” stated Sunil.

“How can that solve my problem?” asked Ahalya with puffy eyes.

“Well, if you marry me, you can resign from your job. You can be liberated from the bond. I will earn for our family. I assure you that you will find freedom after marrying me. I am the only one who can release you from your problems.”

“Is it so Sunil? Okay, I will think about it. Give me three days’ time.”

“Sure Ahalya.”

While returning home, Ahalya dreamed of a happy life with Sunil. She imagined even brighter things which brought a gradual smile to her face. With no other solution, she painfully made up her mind to marry him.

*****

“Wow! I can see you blush. I know you have decided to marry me. Am I right Ahalya?” beamed Sunil. His lemon-yellow skin shone in the morning sun.

Instead of looking at him with love-filled eyes, Ahalya looked at him with a new determination. Her look was unfathomable to him.

“Did you really think that you’d liberate me from my difficulties?”

“Yes, of course,” replied Sunil with a tone of authority.

“Well, you can never do that. I accept I fell in love with you. I had a soft corner for you. I had even contemplated marriage with you which made me feel happy. But you know, I am Ahalya. Not a weak-minded woman to depend on someone else to come out of my problems.”

 “Shreya is my life, my all. I live only for her. To protect her and make her a successful woman is my only aim. And I know how to achieve that without the help of a third person. I am capable Sunil. Neither do I need a man to liberate me nor do I need a profession that is dangerous for my daughter. I have traced a distant relative of mine who has acquired a receptionist’s job for me in Bhutan.”

Ahalya turned and walked away, stamping the mud beneath her feet with a renewed confidence, leaving behind a bewildered Sunil. She flashed an achieved look at him and walked with an aura of feminine energy around her.