It's Onam! Normally, Rishi Jose would be happy. She is, I mean, who isn't at Onam? But, there is also the matter of the aunties....

Aunty Type 1 - The Academic Obsessed

Aunty Meera - Rishi! Oh, come here! Grown so tall! 

Oh no, this was it. Rishi thought. Rishi  - Namaskaram Aunty! How are you?

Aunty Meera - Oh, I'm fine! By the way, you just had your exams right? 

Oh no, she's gone academic. God knows how many children's marks she knows. 

Rishi - Yes, aunty. My mother said I scored very well. Aunty Meera laughed. - Oh, how wonderful! But you must tell me the scores!

Rishi - Well, I got 75 in science. Aunty Meera stared at her for exactly two seconds. Staring into her soul as if asking her soul itself what on earth happened. 

Aunty Meera - Well, that's great! Rishi's head - Wait, what? 

Aunty Meera - You should try making notes yourself, though. Rishi's head - There it is. 

Rishi - I'll do better next time, Aunty, don't worry.  Aunty Meera - Perfect! So sweet you are!

Rule 1 - Avoid any mention or conversation or even hint....about marks.

Aunty Type 2 - The Foody!

Aunty Veena - Oh! Rishi mol! There you are!

Rishi - Oh no.

Aunty Veena - Have you tried the vada? Rishi - I just did Aunty. 

Aunty Veena - Then have you tried the idli? 

Rishi - I'm sure I will-

Aunty Veena - Well, you must try the payasam! 

Five Minutes Later

Aunty Veena - Rishi! You want more sambar? 

Rishi - I'm full, Aunty. 

Rishi just said the words that somehow always avoid an aunty's ears. 

Aunty Veena - Oh, we also have kadala curry! 

Rishi - Aunty, really. I'm full. Aunty Veena stares at her, blinks, and continues staring. As if she's wondering what on earth Rishi just said.

Aunty Veena - You're a growing girl! You can't be full.

Rishi groans.

Rule 2 - Make sure you are nowhere to be seen during lunch.

Aunty Type 3 - The Fashion Freak!

Aunty Anya - Oh! Rishi mol! I love that lehnga! But don't you think red goes better with dark green?

Rishi's head - Please don't say it. Please don't say it. 

Aunty Anya - I should take you to a clothing store some day! 

Rishi's head - SHE SAID IT!

Aunty Anya - And those earrings would show more if you wore a green dupata, maybe a dark red...  

Rishi's head - And on she goes. Please someone interrupt!

Aunty Anya - I love that necklace! You should try wearing it with blue!

Rishi - Aunty! I heard something so perpoustrous!

Aunty Anya - Ah! What? Tell me quickly!

Rishi - I heard my cousin Reena, wore orange......with bright pink.

Aunty Anya screams. - How outrageous! I'm taking her to the shops right after the party! Where is she?

Rishi - Whew!

Rule 3 - Make sure you know exactly which colors match. And think thrice before wearing any jewllery. 

Aunty Type 4 - The Family Gossip Keeper!

Aunty Ananya - Rishi mol! You will not believe what I heard!

Rishi's head - Here we go. 

Aunty Ananya - I heard that Aunty Suman's husband's cousin's stepmother's brother....

Rishi's head - Somebody's mother's, no aunt's, wait what?

Aunty Ananya - They said they'd drop out of school if they don't....

Rishi's head - She had me at, "I heard that".

Aunty Anya - Don't tell anyone from that side of family. 

Rishi - Sure, Aunty. Rishi's head - I didn't understand a word of what you said, and I don't even know which side of family you just yapped about. 

Rule 4 - Never start talking to this type of Aunty. Never give them any information. Unless you want to feel guilty about it at two in the night when you can't sleep.

Aunty Type 5 - The Internet University Aunty!

Aunty Sharma - Rishi mol! I heard gulab jamun is causing hairloss! 

Rishi - What? That can't be true.

Aunty Sharma - I read it on Facebook, of course it's true! We're ordering rasmalai tonight. Gulab Jamun is banned!

Rishi - But my Gulab Jamun...

Aunty Sharma - Mol! You should learn Sanskrit!

Rishi - What? Why?

Aunty Sharma - NASA uses Sanskrit! I saw it on Whatsapp!

Rishi - Are, Aunty.....

Five Minutes Later.

Aunty Sharma - Mol! Don't eat roti for the next five days!

Rishi - Kya? Why?

Aunty Sharma - I saw it on the news, roti is causing cancer!

Rishi - Which news channel are you watching-

Aunty Sharma - And by the way, there's a haunted hostel in MP!

Rishi - Oh, Aunty....

Rule 5 - Make sure you enough science to calm aunty down. And no, you do not need to mention your science marks. Or you'll attract another aunty.