You've Got to Live Somewhere You Aren't Afraid to Die

“When by my solitary hearth I sit,
When no fair dreams before my ‘mind’s eye’ flit,
And the bare heath of life presents no bloom;
Sweet Hope, ethereal balm upon me shed,
And wave thy silver pinions o’er my head …’’

George was a great admirer of Keats. Every morning he got up at six with a morning poem and a cup of coffee appreciating the two little saplings his wife Martha had put in and thanking God for this wonderful life. No matter how little his ends meet was, he was a happy man with a lovely wife and a cute little six-year-old daughter whose smile is larger than life.

Suzan was George’s whole world. The very first time he felt her tiny feet over his hands, he was overjoyed.

“Dad, what happens when we don’t give water to this sapling? Why does it drink so much water?’’ Suzan asked innocently. “If we don’t give water we may kill a life! We may never see how beautiful this may grow.”

Every year on the 16^th of June, George used to bring a huge cake for Suzan’s birthday while all of her friends used to come and celebrate. It was one of the best moments in her life.

Growing up Suzan never felt anything unnatural in her surroundings. But one thing bothered her a lot, when she turned eleven her mother and father didn’t allow her to go out and meet her friends at all. It was odd. She rebelled in the house but it was all in vain. A no means a no. She felt everything was fake all the love she received from everyone, especially her Dad.

“I don’t know dad why u did this to me! Why I started getting home-schooled I don't know. Everything was happening so quickly! Within one year we moved to a small attic of a nearby isolated place. You didn’t even let me  give a final goodbye to my friends. All those happy days were gone! My once cool dad changed so much. You had this big smile all over your face every time.  When did this  all go away?”

“I had so many questions you didn’t answer any of them.”

Suzan couldn’t ask her mother, she was hesitant to have a conversation with her over this matter.

For the very first time, she realized that the place they were living in was not safe. Not for everyone but only for some of them. They were called the ‘undesirables’ by the majority population who considered themselves only the ‘fit to live’

“We are different from them. Weirdly I never knew we were different and you never told me, Dad. God knows why so much hate? What have we all done?

Today I understood why you didn’t let me go see my friends.

Tim’s family had already fled to the west, Sasha’s house was set on fire nothing was left. Oh! My dearest where have they all gone!

The news came in pouring that people like us are unfit to stay in this land, my land

Every day I could see my close and near ones dying or getting caught running away from the country.

I was waiting for my turn! Dad, you never told me anything about this. ”

Today sitting at this refugee camp all alone with no one beside to protect me, I am still mad at you Dad. How mom took her last breath in my hands, how you were taken away from me! Every passing memory is just so much fresh in my head.

I miss you Dad! You have always protected me from everything and now you’re nowhere. Sitting alone writing this diary, I have only one thing left within me: the hope you bestowed upon me. You have never made me fear anything. I don’t know how you protected your little daughter from all that hustle and bustle outside.  It amazes me to think how you always kept smiling and laughing even when you knew it wasn’t safe out. For all the sufferings u faced in your life you protected me from all of it.  Your smile makes me strong. I will preach your beliefs till I die. That little hope that is left within me that one day my land will become the same again. You will always be alive in my happy days and dark days like this because I have only seen love, hope, and kindness in your eyes. I will wait till my land recovers.

My land where I am not afraid to die.