The Love That Never Was

She was always available for him. For six long years when he had quit his job and had started his own venture. The venture that began with a boom and continued well for some time, but after about two years, it started to slow down. Frustrations creeped in soon. But she stood in support. She loved him. He was the father of her only child – a three-year-old daughter. But this was just one reason. They were happily married for the past five years; at least this was what she thought. Prior to this, they had shared a courtship period of 3 years. She had accepted him despite every warning from her friends and family. He had had intense affairs in the past with his classmates, but her love was way too much to allow her think practically. For her, love was the only important thing, the feeling that could make the world go on and on. Her innocent soul believed in the strength of relationships. The one who gives unconditionally does not really expect much in return, except loyalty.

Life however, has its own set of rules. And so, when he took up a full-time job, without even a single moment to spare for her, her life suddenly turned upside down. She felt an emotional vacuum because over the years she had not made a single friend, she never needed one. When she wanted a company for tea or coffee, her husband was there. If her daughter asked for something, her husband was there. Even for her work from home job, her husband would help. Cooking, washing, hanging clothes, putting the baby to sleep, eating, walking, shopping or watching TV – he was a constant company. He did go for his meetings and other things, but still he was always there.

And one fine day everything changed when he decided to take up a full-time job with one of his international clients. The place was very far from where they resided. So most of the time would be wasted in commutation. She was all alone for nearly 13 hours of the day. Her daughter would go to school and after coming back she would go to play and return only late in the evening. She spoke to her husband many a times about her state, but he was far too busy adjusting in his new routine which was taking a toll on his health. He thought that she was not happy with his new job. What could she say further, still, she tried to convey to him how lonely she felt, how badly she needed him, but to no avail.       

She was hurt badly. Knowingly or unknowingly, she had become far too dependent on him. Her life revolved around him completely. Her love had slowly turned into expectations and why not? Was she not a human being or was she only born to be available. At the convenience of others. In the past 6 years, her husband had used her to the fullest – emotionally, financially as well as physically. But she understood this only today. He would often say that he had no one in his life except her and she believed him. It was only now that she realised that these were just words, no feelings. One chance and he left her in loneliness. Never did he turn back to understand his wife, her needs and her issues. Like other men, he said that he was working so hard for his family only. But how far was it true, when he was absolutely blind to several other ‘not-so-trivial’ things. She never wanted him to stay back at home like before, but was she wrong in expecting a bit of his time, a bit of his concern? But then, she was blamed for being a nagging wife, always complaining, she was called selfish and rude and if she would show her tears, she was called weak and helpless. What was she supposed to do? Did she deserve this after years of commitment and selfless service? Probably yes, because she had limited her life to one person alone, who had left her at his convenience.

This person was different from the one she had married and spent so many years with. So inconsiderate! Yes, he was struggling in a different way and she understood but when she expected to be understood, she was given the cold shoulder. She wanted to fight back and not waste her life. But couldn’t gather the strength. Love was her strength before, but she had lost it. Her desperation slowly turned into acute depression in a matter of a few months. But who was to care for? People have their own challenges, their struggles and they are a different lot who give preference to others over their personal needs!