The Real Juliet

On 2nd Avenue between 47th and 48th street, there is a hole in the wall eatery that serves delicious Chinese street food. It is just called ‘The Noodle Shop’. She loved to eat there every Friday night. It was in this shop that everything began and it was here that everything ended. But, let us not get ahead of things.

Juliet Prentiss was her name. She belonged to a remote town in Minnesota about an hour’s drive east from St. Paul. The little town of Afton boasted ski slopes where her father had been a ski instructor until an accident shattered multiple bones in his body. He bought a small café with his savings and ran it. Juliet used to help him after school hours. The café was quaint and served basic food and bakeries, along with a variety of coffees and soft and hard drinks.

Juliet was tall at 5’9’ tall and a beauty in a more classic old-fashioned sort of way. She had wavy auburn hair and doe-like eyes, more favored by Hollywood leading ladies in the 40s and 50s. Her figure matched her looks and she left many broken hearts behind in high school, unaware of the infatuation she was the subject of.

She was also a bright student in high school and was admitted to the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis where she studied pre-law and political science. With her AP scores being so good, she finished her undergraduate degree in 3 years. After this, she had the choice of becoming a lawyer or of furthering her studies in humanities and Political Science. She chose the latter over a career in law because she did not feel inside her that she would make a good lawyer. She got a scholarship to continue her studies in Political Science. After her Masters, she was snapped up by the Brampton Foundation, set up by a wealthy merchant in the wholesale of commodities. The foundation cared, amongst other charitable and noble causes, for the interests of overseas students in the USA. This was the field that they selected Juliet for.

Within 6 months, she was promoted and given a raise, enough so that she could actually live in Manhattan itself, almost walking distance from the office. She chose a studio apartment, which was roomy enough for her to keep a desk and her work needs, as well as enough storage for her personal needs. It had been recently renovated and the rent was high enough that it pinched. But she saved on transport and cooked a fair amount at home, so it worked out well. She even saved a modest sum of money.

It was almost 2 months after she started working with the foundation that she met the man himself. Romain Brampton was a seasoned, tanned man in his mid-60s, 6 feet tall and had a full mane of silver hair. He obviously still looked fit and must have worked hard to stay in good shape. He had traces of an earlier more handsome face and smiled a great deal. Juliet found the smile very kind and endearing and warmed to him almost immediately. More than that he asked her about her family, her father and her late mother, school college, and almost everything. He listened to her answers with a great deal of interest. It was much later that Juliet realized that he remembered every little detail about her and her past in Minnesota. He gently teased her about being a country girl in the big city and asked her if she wasn’t scared of the Big Apple.

Over a period of time, Juliet developed a good and somewhat close working relationship with Romain Brampton. He, in turn, developed a respect for her thinking capabilities as well as her ability to pick up on what he wanted her to do almost before he knew himself. On her part, Juliet found herself warming to him and looked forward to their meetings. Her biggest fear at the time was of letting him down or somehow disappointing him. No matter how hard she worked and how much he appreciated her work, she always lived in this fear.

Romain came to the office only 3 days a week, whereas Juliet worked the full 5 and very often 6 days a week. She worked with various aid agencies and resettlement organizations for students who had no home to go to and wished to settle in the US. While this work was a political hot potato, the foundation handled matters with finesse and plenty of care, and this was also Juliet’s strength area.

Juliet loved to walk in the evenings after work and living between 3rd Avenue and Lexington in the 40s she had a very interesting environment to explore. She found ‘The Noodle Shop’ one evening when she was hungry and wanting to eat something spicy. Without a second thought, she ducked in and ordered a combination meal and a beer to go with it. As she looked around the busy eatery, she suddenly noticed a man seated against the window looking at her with a smile. She recognized Romain, who was also waiting for his order and had a folded New York Times in his right hand. She waved tentatively at him and he gestured for her to come over and sit with him. She told the waitress she was joining a friend and got a grumpy nod in return because her own table had just been denied to another prospective customer.
Two minutes later she was seated opposite Romain and that move changed her life forever.

***

Looking back now, she could never tell when their relationship changed from a simple boss-employee relationship to one more of friends, and then how and when this relationship went where it was never meant to go. A month after they met at the eatery, he invited her to his apartment on 5th Avenue, facing Central Park on the East Side. His apartment was surprisingly compact. Juliet had earlier visited his palatial home in Westchester along with her colleagues on Romain Brampton’s birthday when key employees of his companies and the foundation were invited to bash to celebrate his 65th birthday.

They consummated their relationship on a cold January night at his apartment, where she spent the whole night after dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant in SOHO. The experience for her, still a virgin at the ripe old age of 24, was both painful and glorious and she remembered every minute of it the next day. It was during the course of the night that he said very softly to her, “I love you very much Juliet. When you hold me in your arms, I feel very secure and contented. I have never felt this way with anyone else, not even Rebecca, my wife.”

Juliet was jolted by these words and remembered that Romain was actually a married man and perhaps, could never be hers. Although she murmured, “I love you too, Mr…..er, may I call you Romain when we are alone?” she had the feeling of something lost. Her feelings were so contrary that, for some reason, she felt that this was the start of a relationship that would culminate in his being hers forever. To her inexperienced mind, there was no other way for this to go.

They met once or twice a month, and Juliet found herself, over a period of time, impatiently looking forward to each meeting. Over the same period of time, she also found herself obsessing over Romain and all his mannerisms, his voice, his eyes, his smile, and generally everything about him. She had taken some photos of him, with his permission, on her phone. At night she would often look at those pictures on her phone and talk to them kiss them before she went to sleep.

Juliet always stressed about him leaving her one day. Every time she saw him looking unhappy or pre-occupied, she would be frantic with worry and think that he was thinking of leaving her. One day at dinner, Romain looked pre-occupied and although she did not want to trouble him, she worried about why he was like this. She wondered if she had done something wrong.

“Are you upset with me about something…er…Romain? Did I do something wrong?”

Romain snapped out of his reverie and looked up at her. “Wrong? No, why? I am thinking about a lumber mill I own up in the wilds of Canada. The workers there have gone on strike, after an accident which resulted in one of the workers losing an arm. I was just thinking of how painful it must have been and what I can do to help him so that he is able to either carry on working or has enough to live on. Workmen’s Compensation does not always cover everything. Why would you think this was about you?” He gestured to the waiter to take their order. She waited until the order was placed and then responded.

“I…I’m sorry Romain. I just thought….never mind. I am sure you will work something out which is considerate and generous for him. This much I do know about you,” she smiled to ease the tension.

He reached across and took her hand in his. “Did I tell you lately that I love you? But yes, I do have to talk to you about something. But another day perhaps. Today, let us just enjoy it. Try the Spaghetti with Arrabbiata sauce and spices. I know you love spicy sauces.”

Romain’s words made her even more frantic with worry. Was he preparing to break up with her? Was he going back to his wife? In fact, why had he not left his wife yet? Juliet had assumed, once they slept together, that this would follow. She decided to tackle him on this after they had ordered.

Romain reacted with surprise. “Leave my wife? Why would I do that? We have been happily married for almost 40 years. Why would I leave her? And for what? You and I could never conceivably marry. Why…..”

He did not get to finish the sentence. Juliet interrupted. “Of course we can marry. Oh, you think I am after your money? I will happily sign a prenup so that you are sure I am not after your money.” The last bit she said bitterly. Romain looked up sharply.

“Nonsense, I know you better than that Jules.” He liked to shorten her name from the formal Juliet. “But I cannot throw away 40 years of marriage just like that. Yes, I am deeply in love with you, and also would like to care for you as long as I can or am able to. But you know as well as I do that this relationship has no future. I wish it did because I would dearly love to spend the rest of my life with you. But this wish is in vain. There is nothing I can do about it, I am sorry.”

Juliet froze in her seat. She felt like her world was crumbling around her. Romain and she would never be together as a couple? How could this be? He had to be hers. She had given him her heart, her body, right down to her soul. How could he not see this? Was he just using her? No that could not be. He loved her, she was sure of this. Then why was he refusing to marry her? How could he feel that way about his wife? He was well off, he could give his wife a generous settlement and marry Juliet.

The food came and Romain ate well. Juliet toyed with her pasta and did not eat much. She was feeling shellshocked. Finally, Romain took her home and gave her an absentminded good night kiss. Juliet clung to him almost in desperation. She did not want to let him go. She whispered in his ear. “Don’t go. Stay the night, please.”

He pulled away gently. “I wish I could darling, but I have to get back home. The kids are visiting along with our grandchildren and I need to be back to spend some time with them this weekend. I made an excuse for a business dinner in the city just so I could have dinner with you. You seem upset, my darling. What is it? Did I do something wrong? Did you not like the place we went to? I am sorry.” He pulled her to him again, before disengaging.

Juliet had tears in her eyes again. She put up her hand to wave goodbye, not trusting herself to speak. By the time she reached the elevator of her apartment building, the tears were gushing down her cheeks. The doorman looked anxiously at her and was about to speak when she brushed past him and entered the elevator.

She spent her Friday night awake, writing her feelings in her diary, about her frustrations with her relationship. This was her first serious relationship, and she had no real friends with whom she could share her angst. She talked to herself half the night, looked at Romain’s pictures on her phone, and cried again and again. The tears never seemed to stop. Her writing turned to a poem…..….the angst of unfulfilled love
Of promises not kept
Of separation, anxiety and heartbreak….

She finally fell into a fitful sleep at 5.30 on Saturday morning. She woke two hours later feeling terrible. After a hot bath and a light breakfast, she ventured out to find a salon to fix her hair and do a manicure and pedicure. After all this, she felt a little better. She had some sushi on the go for lunch and then went to Central Park to walk. She spent the better part of the day there and walked back to her apartment on tired legs.

Romain messaged her on Monday morning. He normally did not come to work on Mondays. He asked her to meet him for dinner at the Noodle Shop on 2nd Avenue on Wednesday. He wanted to talk to her about something. On Wednesday morning he showed up at the Foundation office at around 10.30. He had not messaged her much over the last three days. Once he had messaged and told her he was tied up with the extended family and unable to call. Juliet was frantic with the separation and slept very little during the early part of the week.

When he came into the office, she waited impatiently for ten minutes so he could settle down. She then went over to his office and knocked on his door. “May I come in Mr. Brampton,” she asked with a smile. He looked up and nodded. He gestured to her to sit when she came in. He looked very gaunt and pale, she noticed this right away. She asked him.

“Are you feeling okay? You do not look well. Why did you come into the city in this condition? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am happy to see you, very happy. But you do not look great. Please go home and rest. We can do….” Romain raised his right hand to stop her.

“We will have dinner, my love. It is important that we talk about the future. This is something I must do before long.”
Juliet’s heart skipped a beat. “Talk?” Her voice rose an octave. “About what, Romain…er I mean Mr. Brampton.”

“Relax,” he smiled. “Romain is fine. Most people call me Romain. I am not sure why you insist on addressing me formally when we are at the office or in a meeting? Relax Juliet, it is nothing to worry about. What I have to say is for your own good, and I must do it soon, so it is a case of ‘the sooner, the better.’”

Juliet spent the rest of the day in a daze. Was Romain going to break up or was something else the matter? She found her hands trembling at the keyboard and was able to do very little productive work. By 6 pm, an hour before they were supposed to meet, she was at home and changed into a black dress that she knew Romain liked. She spent some time on her face and finally was able to hide the rings under her eyes with enough cosmetics.

She was there at ten minutes to seven, ahead of time, and was taken aback to see Romain there already seated at his favorite window table. She sat gingerly opposite him. There was a large manilla folder on the table and he was sipping Jasmine tea. He ordered as soon as she sat, knowing what they both liked to eat. He said, “Let us eat first. I asked Bloom, the lady that runs this place if we can stay for 15 minutes past our dinner and she has agreed. I am paying her extra for this privilege. She is a sharp businesswoman. I wish I had people like her working with me.” He smiled and Juliet again noticed how gaunt he looked. She started to ask him again, but he held up his hand. “Later,’ just one word.

Again, Juliet ate very poorly. She waited until the dishes were cleared. Romain took a sip of iced water and cleared his throat. He picked up the manila envelope which he had earlier placed behind himself against the chair back. He opened the envelope and pulled out a large legal document. He placed it on the table.
“This is a trust document, Juliet. It places in trust a substantial sum of money, the interest from which alone should fetch you over a hundred thousand a year. Although this is less than the salary we pay you now, it is meant as a security blanket for you and supplementary income to live well, not just adequately. It is signed, sealed and delivered, and this is your copy. The trustee of this trust is my eldest son, Jason, who is a lawyer and is practicing in New Jersey. He knows about you and that you are very close to me and have helped me a great deal.

“Before you say anything, there is one more thing you must know. Today was my last day in the office. I am retiring from all activities effective immediately. You must know that I am almost 67 years old now and feel my age.” He raised his hand just as Juliet was about to interrupt. “Yes, I know what you were going to say. I do not lack passion in my lovemaking right?” She nodded and he chuckled.

“That is all your doing, my darling. You make me feel very young. But I am a tired old man now and want to take my foot off the gas pedal and stop and smell the roses. I want to read and write and spend my remaining time in peace and quiet.”

Juliet waited until he indicated that she could speak. “But Romain, I do not need your money. I told you the other day, and I am telling you now. Your being with me is more important than anything else. I cannot live without you. How am I, how am I….” she did not finish the sentence and broke down and cried uncontrollably. In a broken voice, she said, “So you are breaking up with me?”

A few minutes later, Romain stood up and he took her arm as he seemed to stumble a bit. He winced and bit his lip. Juliet didn’t miss this. “I knew it. There is something wrong. You are not well and you will not even tell me what it is. Have you seen a doctor? What is it, Romain? Why are you hiding stuff from me? Please tell me.”
He walked out on her arm and stopped outside holding her shoulders with his hands. “Yes, I am not well, and I am under a doctor’s care. When the time is right, I will tell you. Right now, I just cannot.” She saw tears in his eyes and froze. She had never seen Romain this way. It shook her.

“This is goodbye, Juliet. I am sorry I cannot be with you anymore, my darling. I will carry you in my heart as long as I live, and I will never stop loving you. But there is a very good reason why I must say goodbye to you. You will know soon enough in any case. All I can say is time is short. Be well stay well and I hope one day you will find true love and be happy forever.”

“I have found true love and he is standing right before me. Please, Romain, let me stay with you and care for you and help make you better. Please do not push me out of your life. I will not be able to handle it, you know that, don’t you? Please?”

He gently disengaged and gestured to someone behind her. A few seconds later his car rolled up and he hugged her one more time and whispered, “I love you” and got into the car and left. Juliet stood rooted to the spot for a while, numb with shock. She found that she was holding the manila envelope that Romain had slipped into her hand while they were standing outside.

***

She finished her long email to Romain, with the sign off saying “Forever yours, Juliet”. She had already written a goodbye mail to her father and told him to come to New York to fetch her stuff. She left the manila envelope on her desk. She looked around. Everything was in place and ready. Her front door was shut but unlocked. She did not want any kind of a fuss over her. She had a bottle of sleeping pills on the nightstand. She had showered and was wearing black slacks and a short-sleeved shirt, also black. She sat on the side of the bed and opened the bottle of pills, reaching for the glass of water at the same time.

***

Romain was the first one to open her door. He had a spare key to her apartment as well as the front door of the building. Juliet had given the keys to him some months back. He found Juliet lying on the bed, with one leg hanging over the side, her foot not touching the ground. She looked beautiful and peaceful. Her eyes were closed. He called his assistant on the cellphone and spoke for a couple of minutes. Juliet was still breathing, although it was a little ragged now. He bent over her face and spoke gently.

“Baby, just hang on a little longer. The paramedics are on their way. They should be here soon. Why did you…..never mind, plenty of time to talk about this later. Just hang in there. Remember, I love you. I broke up with you only to save you the pain of losing me later. You would have found out anyway. I have cancer of the pancreas and it could be anywhere from one month to six months, that I have left. That is why it was important for me to leave that trust in your name. Even if we could not have married, at least I could treat you like a surviving spouse. Please, baby, hang in there.” Romain heard banging on the door. The medics had come.

***

“Thank God you brought her in just in time Mr. Brampton. Even ten minutes later and we may not have been able to save her. Is she a relative?” The young intern removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes from fatigue.

“No, not a relative, but a valuable employee and a confidante of mine. She is very precious to me. Thank you Doctor for all you people have done. May I see her?” Romain was exhausted and the pain in his side was almost continuous. He leaned against the chair he had been sitting on.

“Are you okay?” The doctor looked concerned at the pallor on Romain’s face.

“I will be fine, don’t worry. Just a little tired. It has been a long day and it is now past midnight. Once I get some sleep I will be as right as rain.” He coughed a throaty sound.

The intern was not convinced but led the way to the cubicle in the Emergency room where Juliet lay. Romain looked at her with love and the serene expression on her face as she lay asleep, with tubes into her wrist, and two thin oxygen tubes in her nostrils. He reached under the sheet and found her right hand and held it in both of hers. Even in her sleep, he could feel her closing her hand around his. He turned to look at the doctor with a smile and the doctor got the hint. He just said, “Not very long, mind you,” and left.

Romain perched on the side of the bed and started talking to her. “Juliet, my little Jules, my love, what have you gone and done? Don’t you see that it is important that you stay alive and carry my memory with you?” She stirred and he could see her lips move as she murmured something.

He continued. “See, I am quite sick. In fact, I have pancreatic cancer. According to the doctors, I do not have much time. Maybe one month, maybe less, maybe more. But I will be at peace only if I know you are okay. If you go and do something stupid again, don’t you realize that there will be no one left that I know will always carry my memory long after I am gone? Please, baby, remember this. You must stay alive and well. I will live through you, my spirit will always be with you, every step of your journey.” Suddenly Juliet opened her eyes.

“What? Have you got a second opinion? I mean, you just cannot do this to me. Remember, you are my Romeo and I am your Juliet. Remember how we used to joke about this? Please, my Romeo, stay with me. I cannot live without……”

“Sshhh! My love, please do not stress. I want…..” Romain felt things go dark, and he slumped forward and slid off the bed, to the floor. He gagged and a little bit of blood came out of his mouth. Juliet screamed. Within seconds the door flew open and the intern and a nurse came rushing in. They looked at Romain and the nurse rushed out to call for emergency help.

Juliet knew at once that it was all but over. The countdown had begun. She put her head back on the pillow and let the tears come. And they came.