Do you remember your first hug? The first kiss? May be the first night. And, it’s not just about “the-very-firsts.” The heat, sweat, summers or winters doesn’t matter, when the two of you come together.

A gentle touch, a naughty tickle, a love bite or a suckle; the heat, the bake, the ice, or the melt; it’s racing, rollicking and seems-to-be-a-never-ending-adventurous-romance in between the two of you. And those little kids are sure to rise to excitement.

By “those little kids”, I mean your bosom. Gone are those days when the great wits like Donne or Shelly compared bosoms with “morning dew”. That was coy and slightly vulgar, yet not so. That was unrequited love yet so lovely and beautiful. They glorified “beauty” and expressed pure love through naivety.

A woman like me would surely have been melted by those words by now. Felt loved, pampered, and graceful. What about you?

Ladies! Right after your grey cells, your shape up there makes you look good and gives you a feel-good-factor. There’ll be a slight change in your size up there, when you are going through those days of the month or maybe you’re nurturing another life inside your womb? An inch here or a bend there is quite natural. Isn’t it?

But there’s a catch!  

What if you’re not “Up” to the mark?

Look! You’re of marriageable age. You should have been a bit busty up there, but… anyway.  Your parents are still looking for an alliance for you. Suddenly you realise that your mother is tensed. Why? Oh! That reminds you, she hasn’t ever noticed anything sprouting up there. I mean you been through your puberty phase, you’ve grown up, now an adult and yet nothing???!! Nothing at all!

She’s surprised to find out that over the years, nothing has even ever jutted out over there? No development at all???!!! Poor Lady! You mother! She keeps on thinking and feels petrified. You saw her weeping, wailing, and shouting at you once before meeting your suit and his family, “You need to show “up”. And what is this? You’ve nothing to show???!!! Ugh!”

Your polite and calm response to this would be, “Um. Well! I don’t know what to do?”

“Take these. Wear these padded bras and don’t bring the name and face of this family down”, as she said this, she threw the new bras and inners on your face. You kept on looking at her with an innocent stun. Then you thought in anger, “What has all this got to do with our family’s face loss? Can I tell Mom with due respect of course, that these days she’s not thinking straight. But she’s definitely thinking wild”

You saw her nervous, almost shaken in worry, telling you, “How long is this trick going to work? What if they find out about “the-no-show-Up-there” after your marriage?”

You smirk and wonder, “What will they come to see? I mean…” That very thought makes you laugh. This time, you’ve somehow managed the show “Up” wearing padded bras.

After marriage scenes well-imagined, even if they find out about your sadly less-attractive part “up” there, what is the worst that could ever happen. After a few months, he won’t feel “hooked” to you. Chances of not wanting to be “hitched” anymore? Yes. There may be. In fact, the chances are high! All because you’re not “Up” to the mark. What a shame!

Don’t worry! And don’t feel ashamed. Am I shaming your body? No. Never.

But, trust me girl! Padded bras won’t always save you and your family’s face. Padded bras can’t take away the blame of your being a “wo-man-chester”. I mean you’re a (beau-ugly-tiful) woman with a man’s chest. Alas! Can’t help it! That’s came to you naturally.

Um. Why not think of “Up-ping” yourself (I mean improving yourself)?

But how?

Be “Up and Down” with him. That’s it.

Show “up” every night. Uh-huh! I know just a night won’t do. Night and day sound better? What say?

Have patience!

Let the water flow.

Let the size catch “Up” up there.

Too-hooo!

All the “Breast”!

Sorry!

All the Best!

What if you’re more than just “Up” to the mark?

Do you know what I mean? You may be a teenager, a young woman or a mother. I mean, you may be a girl or a woman of any age (or size (wink)). Married or Single (getting ready to mingle) and you’re more than just “Up” to the mark.

Look ‘Up” at yourself properly.

Those little kids ain’t little at all. Girls and My Fair Ladies! They are grown-ups. You’ll find them jumping around too at times.

Not a clear vision. Right?

Wait! I am there to give you one.

All throughout your puberty phase, you mother takes care of sizing you “Up” there. Don’t worry! I’m only talking about her giving you the right kind of inners and tight-fitting bras.

Let’s say, you’re going through a phase of your puberty. And developments “Up” there start to show. You slowly grow up into a young woman, wear tight-fitting inners to keep the shape “Up” there intact.

And then comes the dramatic moment of your life!

You get a chance to meet someone very special in your life, and can’t wait for those innumerable romantic rendezvous. Cups of coffee, movies and conversations… surely had many things brewing in between the two of you.

Uh! Let me guess! I’m sure he started with, “What are you fond reading?” or “What are you fond watching?”

Now, let me just tell you those are for the “starters”.

Didn’t ogle at you? Or didn’t keep on looking at you in amazement. Of course, he hasn’t seen anything gorgeous as yet.

Didn’t he hold your hand while walking?

Didn’t he even gently hold your shoulders?

Wait! Did he invite you to his place, off late? That’s so obvious. He’s growing fond of you.

Imagine his parents are not there. Or let’s say, instead of his house, he takes you out. (After the starters in a restaurant, you have to enter the main course). May be for a long drive. He has already had a room booked for both of you – in a hotel or motel. Don’t worry! He’s taken care of your hunger too.

Now, he’s on a different kind of “hunger-strike”. Girls! Please don’t misunderstand me; all I’m trying to say is he loves you. And he has those love-lusty feelings towards you. And that is fine. Isn’t it?

He wants to be a little cosy and comfortable with you. In the hush of his arms. At his bed. You’re tossing and turning with her from one side of the bed to the other. Both of you are under the sheet.

He’s already enjoying. Now he’s right “up” there. The warm touch of his hands “up” there makes you shiver a little, but his cuddles make you feel balm. He has decided not to budge an inch. His mouth touches your “booties” (your nipples). They don’t just touch you; they are inside his mouth, suckling and leaving you with a few cute love bites. Since he caring, he’ll care about your, “Ouch! It hurts.”  Trust me, a smooth and balmy touch of his hands is sure to work wonders for you. Those not-so-little-kids are overjoyed by now. They’ve got the gift of love. After hours of being active “up” there, when he needs a little rest, he’d definitely want to rest his head on his ever-more-comfortable pillow “up” there. Sassy! Isn’t it?

Once he’s done with his “ups” there, he’d sure want to know, whether you liked making “up” with him. You know he was good, I mean “up” there.

After a few days or so, he’s surely wanted to propose to you. How ‘bout a marriage proposal? I’m sure he’s not biding his time with you.  

Crux of the story, Darlings! Proper shape “up” there, keeps your “up and down” both good.

You needn’t have to worry about your post marriage “bed-up-time-stories.”

Once he’s happily “up” there and “down” of course, (his sperms active along with your over-excited eggs) who knows he may gift you with two happy kids. And then what? You. Her. Two happy kids. Sweet family. That’s all? That’s it!

See, whether he any problem with the changes in the size “Up” there. Your adorably dear partner, responsible for making you the mother of his kids, shouldn’t really be bothered about it. Who cares if they are bouncing “up” and “down”? He still loves you, cares for you and won’t miss his chances of “Ups”, whenever there’s time. After all, his becoming a father has been task really! I’m sure both of you have so much more to do, as new parents, and romantic young couples.

Do one thing. Secretly remind him of your sizes “up” there. He will get you the perfect inners and bras to keep “up” your shape. And of course, keep you “hooked” and “hitched” for a very long time.

In case of odds… Look! There are chances of “up to down” swing after you’ve become a new mom. New mom hacks! Can’t really help it.

Uh-huh! Don’t frown! Don’t smirk! Why laugh? 

See! “Up to down” swing is a natural gravitational pull.

Normal?

Yeah?

Getting a pendulum-like dangling experience also cannot be denied. I mean, in case you have an “up to down” swing (Of course after becoming a mother), you wouldn’t even have to adapt to the situation. Suckling and biting would be a smooth and buttery “up-work”. Make sure that, your little one is off to bed by then. If she or he moves or even mews (for that matter), that’s it! All the time-for-love will be gone in a jiffy. The baby wouldn’t understand, why’s the father doing their job.

Who cares even if you’ve an oversized “up”, after a few years. I’m sure you wouldn’t need buckets to replace those bras. Though the love-lust-you days come to the fore sometimes, he’s hooked to you– more emotionally.

I pity a few Debarshis and Debaratis who are dissatisfied, detached, “Not-hooked” and feel “Un-hitched”?